Intimacy: Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him...

By Anonymous - 04/06/2015 12:26 - United States - San Bruno

Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 567

You deserved it 4 450

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Same thing different taste

By that girl - 08/04/2014 23:06 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 281

You deserved it 12 673

Quickie

By Anonymous - 11/02/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, when my boyfriend came over he was on his phone. We spent about 15 minutes together before having sex, then he made a phone call and said he had to leave. I could hear him from my window apologising to his coworker because he “just had to do something real quick but was now free to talk again.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 171

Remote sex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 408

You deserved it 359

Steamy

By DreeStahr - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Liberty

Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 383

You deserved it 1 538

Break time

By Samantha K - 19/10/2020 20:08

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he stopped and got dressed. Naked and confused, I figured he’d be right back. Yeah, 20 minutes later with a plate of food for himself. So much for sex. It would've been nice if he told me though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 641

You deserved it 212

By Anonymous - 07/09/2016 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I called my boyfriend and asked if he wanted to come watch a movie. He seemed eager, until I said I needed the company because my period had started. He then went dead silent, waited a few seconds before starting to fake-snore, then hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 486

You deserved it 2 125

Hello everyone!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 08:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 117

You deserved it 380

Riverdale is a lie

By that1summergirl - 19/09/2019 12:00 - Canada

Today, I called my boyfriend at 2 a.m., telling him I couldn't sleep. He replied, "Well, I can," and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 2 991

Do me

By noneofthesex - 10/02/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 562

You deserved it 12 165

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 03:17 - United States

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 008

You deserved it 7 881

MyNameIsLaughter 18

Friday 5 June 2015 7:20

Next time he comes on to you, just pull out a box of Kleenex and walk away

lexiieeex3 32

Friday 5 June 2015 7:15

Well that's inconsiderate of him...

Comments

Youngtrapgod67 5

Friday 5 June 2015 7:21

Oh, well then.

russfml 31

Friday 5 June 2015 7:23

It sounds like your boyfriend has a steady relationship with Palmela Handerson. FYL OP

CharlesEmersonW 31

Friday 5 June 2015 7:32

Kinda rude if you ask me but . . . sure. . . He made a statement ! He stated that he used his hands (and probably will be using them for some time from now but sure) Either way, I'd say the guy f#@$ed himself over here. He just doesn't realize it yet!

rlak111 19

Friday 5 June 2015 7:34

Best FML I've seen in a while

simmybaby_ 13

Friday 5 June 2015 7:39

Just wait until it's his turn…show him the same kind of love

obliviongillette 18

Friday 5 June 2015 7:45

Kleenex: 1 You: 0 Jk op, send him some links to some Kleenex commercials and tell them there for his spank bank.

ColonelCusswords 24

Friday 5 June 2015 7:50

Dont take it personaly, the kleenex is easier

loserface210 11

Friday 5 June 2015 7:51

What a jerk..OFF ha.

gosh_mate 30

Friday 5 June 2015 8:05

I find this so rude! Next time he wants something from you, say that you thought he preferred his own handy-work.

Drnknmonkey08 12

Friday 5 June 2015 8:08

I don't see how this is an fml. maybe if you were living in the same house I could see it. Maybe he just wanted a quickie and didn't have time or didn't feel like driving over just for sex. you have hands and fingers too just saying. at least he didn't cheat!