Miscellaneous: Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 06:29 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 111

You deserved it 10 273

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Same thing different taste

By catherineratley - 06/05/2012 04:09 - United States - Carmi

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 445

You deserved it 2 982

Roadworthy

By MerryDeathmas - 18/07/2015 04:31 - Canada - Lloydminster

Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic by slamming my car door shut as hard as I could. Something broke and now it won't open. Now I have to climb through the passenger's side just to drive my car to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 534

You deserved it 30 120

By Anonymous - 26/01/2012 16:45 - United States

Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 009

You deserved it 32 378

By Ouch - 22/05/2009 15:16 - United States

Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I scream when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 452

You deserved it 13 270

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 21:26 - New Zealand

Today, I found out how it feels to have a car door slammed shut on my hand, breaking two of my fingers. Hint: it's fucking painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 189

You deserved it 2 041

By MikeNick - 17/12/2011 07:59 - United States

Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 723

You deserved it 9 803

By seththing - 22/05/2016 03:49

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 127

You deserved it 3 185

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 07:25 - Canada

Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 423

You deserved it 26 413

By Smile - 27/11/2008 04:21 - France

Today, after numerous attempts, my car door still wouldn't unlock. After going ballistic on the lock, the key broke off inside. I then realized it wasn't my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 476

You deserved it 31 444

I'm so tired

By slapstick1982 - 30/05/2024 03:00 - United States - Port Washington

Today, after double-checking to make sure the garage door was completely open, I backed my car into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 287

karlcolt45 19

Saturday 18 January 2014 17:00

that's like when dudes sit on their balls. there are no winnings...except for the inanimate objects I suppose

XCrazyMofo2010X 17

Saturday 18 January 2014 17:03

Are they that big?

Comments

LethalSeamonkey 15

Saturday 18 January 2014 19:50

HOW?!?!

skyeyez9 24

Saturday 18 January 2014 19:52

That is exactly how a mammogram feels.

outoftown 26

Sunday 19 January 2014 4:17

You're half right. A mammogram crushes both your girls. :(

davincidasecond 24

Saturday 18 January 2014 20:02

I cringed at this, and I'm a guy. Sorry OP.

RAI08 7

Saturday 18 January 2014 20:07

Wow, they must be huge!!

iloveyou846 2

Saturday 18 January 2014 20:17

For the idiots that couldn't put it together #57 was referring to the comment made by #9.

BFons 19

Saturday 18 January 2014 20:22

How?!?

brandoneyez1 25

Saturday 18 January 2014 20:42

Holy crap, how big are your breasts... ?

mindception 9

Saturday 18 January 2014 20:42

That's terrible! Holy crap in cringing

AubreyDucrat 8

Saturday 18 January 2014 21:10

How does someone even do that!?

sarah2144 14

Saturday 18 January 2014 21:12

How does that even happen?

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Today, my boss's husband came over to our office, and as a by the way comment told our boss my make-up looks good and suits me. The thing is, I've never worn make-up to work, and obviously, he never told his wife, my boss, that she looks good with make-up on. I'm fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 625

You deserved it 205

Today, after a full year of work getting my house decorated, it was finally finished. I stepped back from the last painted wall to admire it and my neighbour on the other side of the wall, who was doing some decorating of his own, drilled too far and punched his drill bit right through the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 137

Today, I realized the only reason my phone ever rings is because someone needs help with their computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 906

You deserved it 2 299

Today, my mom talked about how it's interesting how there's so many different size of penises. She also told me that since she's doing hormone therapy she's able to orgasm a LOT more. We were stuck in stop and go traffic for three hours. When I turned on the radio, she turned it off and talked more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 266

You deserved it 5 526

Today, a prison officer from when I was a young offender snuck up behind me and bellowed in my ear, “ON YOUR FEET SONNY JIM, LETS BE HAVING YOU.” I have such bad memories of him that even now 30 years later, I sprang to attention hands behind my back, humiliating me in front of my wife and daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 398

You deserved it 264

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, with whom I've been with for four years. I've been in Australia for the last two months and before I left, he bought a box of 12 condoms, saying we would use them when I got back. We went to the bedroom and I opened the box. There was one left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 993

You deserved it 269

Same thing different taste

Roadworthy

I'm so tired

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