Intimacy: Today, I realized that my boyfriend will only have sex with...

By sheyshey0413 - 13/06/2011 17:05 - United States

Today, I realized that my boyfriend will only have sex with me if I am on my stomach and not revealing my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 076

You deserved it 6 942

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Body issues

By Anonymous - 01/12/2021 10:59

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 503

You deserved it 340

Works out well

By Ann - 18/03/2013 14:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that from now on during sex, I have to be on top at all times, saying I need the exercise more than him. As offensive as this was, I was actually happy because he's crap on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 532

You deserved it 9 236

Libido

By Jena - 05/08/2022 01:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 257

You deserved it 345

By Anonymous - 04/10/2009 11:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend kept pressuring me to get it on. I told him I was self-conscious abut my stomach and didn't want him to see it. His response? My double chin doesn't keep him from kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 906

You deserved it 8 276

The truth

By uglyallover - 20/09/2009 14:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing a game where you ask sexual questions and you have to give an honest answer. At one point, I asked my boyfriend what his favorite position is, to which he quickly answered with no hesitation, "Any one where I don't have to see your face or body." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 451

You deserved it 4 471

Effective

By zstarr - 14/07/2012 11:15 - United States - Rome

Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 641

You deserved it 32 470

By Anonymous - 22/03/2013 23:21 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 433

You deserved it 19 294

By Anonymous - 14/12/2018 14:00

Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 686

You deserved it 2 160

By denise - 23/11/2009 05:07 - United States

Today, I was feeling a little racy and decided to send my boyfriend some naked pictures of myself. He responded, "That's OK, but does your face have to be in them?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 975

You deserved it 4 966

By Username - 23/11/2010 06:50

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to see more of his passionate side. He pushed my head down towards his lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 542

You deserved it 14 037

jess6blondie9 2

Monday 13 June 2011 23:09

What a nice boyfriend you've got there. You should find someone that appreciates you for more than just sex.

pablothepenguin 2

Monday 13 June 2011 23:09

Your face is his **** block...?

Comments

Lila_1108 0

Monday 13 June 2011 23:12

What a Jerk. you need a new boyfriend

kewlaidman10 15

Monday 13 June 2011 23:12

did he ever brown bag u?

22cute 17

Monday 13 June 2011 23:16

oh, right, because fighting is sooooo much better than finding a real boyfriend.

salvorican 24

Monday 13 June 2011 23:47

Just wondering but where did the fighting part of ur comment come from?

JesusFishTaco 5

Tuesday 14 June 2011 0:05

I think he thought that the person was going to suffocate his girlfriend with a paper bag.

UnderstoodCat 0

Monday 13 June 2011 23:13

That is *ANAL* pretty shitty

agummere796 0

Monday 13 June 2011 23:13

insult him on his penis size!

mustafa_fml 0

Monday 13 June 2011 23:14

maybe he just likes doggy style. I know I do!

womanjesus 0

Monday 13 June 2011 23:31

You seem like an extremely big fag.

kkins 0

Monday 13 June 2011 23:15

your boyfriend sounds like quite the jerk

ItWasAllWorthIt 0

Monday 13 June 2011 23:15

I would just assume he is a homosexual.

jackiemoonthepro 5

Monday 13 June 2011 23:16

maybe he just likes it that way?

txgirl2013 14

Monday 13 June 2011 23:17

what a jerk! tell him "I'm not having sex with you until you dick gets bigger"

AM3_fml 0

Monday 13 June 2011 23:18

that's so mean! u should leave him

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Such a poser.

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 347

Today, I called the cops on a couple who was fighting outside my window at 4 a.m. They hid in the bushes when the cops came, came back out when they left, and started fighting again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 389

You deserved it 4 806

Today, I realized my soon to be ex wife is stalking me online. Everytime I block her she creates a new profile. She left me 9 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 696

You deserved it 2 996

Today, on vacation, I had my first encounter with a macaw parrot, who promptly bit my ear and shat on me while amused tourists laughed and took pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 262

You deserved it 420

Today, I had to pay my manager $10 just to take my stalker's order so I didn't have to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 966

You deserved it 2 401

Today, my mother sold my extensive Star Wars collection, and I cried when I found out. I'm 46. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 573

You deserved it 27 585