Goodness. Punctuation is invented for a reason. If you're that desperate about marrying a girl, then go on a dating site or go on blind dates. Something. As for your ex, perhaps she loves both you and her boyfriend. She made her choice, as you made yours when you moved before you could propose to her. You obviously chose something/someone else over her back then, so now she has chosen someone over you. Lastly, if you keep telling yourself that you're going to die around age 60, then none of us can help you there. Sorry!

I have news for you most men die before women, it's just the way it is, women live longer. Even if 60 is your family's general death age, that gives you 35 years to find someone, lots of time. My grandpa's sister met and married her husband when she was well into her 60s, and he was in his 70s, there's always hope. When other people die also doesn't give much indication of when you will. Just take care of yourself, just live your life, and don't sike yourself out by thinking you're going to die early. As for the ex, just because you love and care for each other, doesn't mean she wants to marry you, or that you should get married. You kind of sprang it on her when you're not together or even dating anymore, which is odd. Love doesn't mean you should get married, or even be together. The fact that you didn't ask her before, and now she found someone else, is your fault. If you want someone, tell them, you can't blame her for moving on when you never made your feelings clear. Stop having a pity party for yourself, the only one that can help you, is you. People are naturally attracted to people who are confident. Research even shows, desperation is something people naturally sense which makes them more likely to avoid that person. I was single, never even kisses a guy, until I was almost 19, the moment I realized I didn't need someone to be happy, is the moment I found someone. Join some dating sites, try speed dating or something. Put yourself out there, don't expect anyone to come to you, you have to be an advocate for yourself.