Miscellaneous: Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He... - FML

By Anonymous - 05/10/2013 06:56 - United States - Seattle

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 043

You deserved it 52 967

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Same thing different taste

By WOWBear - 05/06/2013 09:46 - United States - Mesa

Today, a deaf customer came to my work. In an attempt to connect with him I introduced myself in sign language. He just rolled his eyes and pointed at my name tag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 256

You deserved it 13 221

Classic

By Diane - 12/09/2025 20:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I pretended to be on the phone to avoid small talk with someone from my building. I spoke loudly into the phone while walking by them. My phone rang in the middle of my fake conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 471

Foiled

By human lava lamp - 10/03/2013 19:54 - United States - New Britain

Today, I was at the airport, when a lady came up and loudly asked if she could sit next to me. I have serious social issues, so to avoid having to talk to her, I pretended I was deaf and couldn't hear her. She immediately broke out her sign language skills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 389

You deserved it 49 745

By lonelynessinCA - 14/03/2011 18:31 - United States

Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 031

You deserved it 9 787

By Jackie - 14/09/2010 20:00 - United States

Today, I realized the guy I like is not deaf. This would normally be good news. However, for the past two weeks I assumed he was deaf after seeing him use sign language. I've been openly talking about him within earshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 570

You deserved it 49 777

Desperate times, desperate, dumb measures

By WTFiswrongwithme - 03/03/2020 00:01

Today, I was so desperate for human interaction that I asked a deaf girl in my class if she liked music. I actually signed it to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 215

You deserved it 935

Not very neighborly

By Kris - 31/01/2025 00:00 - India

Today, I pretended to be on a work call to avoid talking to my neighbour. Mid-fake call, my phone actually rang. I had to answer it and have two simultaneous conversations while avioding eye contact with my neighbour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 493

By Cob - 03/02/2009 13:03 - United States

Today, I tried helping an old lady with her groceries. When I asked if she needed help she smiled. When I took one of her bags she yelled. I didn't know she was deaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 276

You deserved it 2 446

By Anonymous - 31/07/2009 17:01 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 082

You deserved it 75 606

**** off!

By my back hurts - 04/09/2013 05:25 - Australia - Campbelltown

Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 650

You deserved it 7 438

Next

Top comments

adam3650 12

Saturday 5 October 2013 12:09

Good God. They're evolving.

yukumariooo 11

Saturday 5 October 2013 12:09

Pretended to be deaf, end up looking dumb... Sounds about fair.

Comments

thatgirl1299 11

Saturday 5 October 2013 19:12

Some people are actually deaf

jblumz 15

Saturday 5 October 2013 20:07

Let me get this straight. You pretended to be deaf, but answered the door when you "heard" a knock/bell?

gladlily 16

Saturday 5 October 2013 20:25

You shouldn't play deaf or pretend you're not home to avoid interruptions. You're not required to open your door just because someone knocks. If you don't answer they should assume you aren't home OR are occupied with something that prevents you from answering. In this day and age, no one should be offended that people don't answer their doors all the time. The days of calling on people out of the blue are gone.

Sweetpea22 14

Saturday 5 October 2013 21:18

How hard is it to say "Not interested" OP?

snowbunnie408 11

Saturday 5 October 2013 22:03

I saw this on whisper!

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 5 October 2013 23:13

Show up at the door naked they will never come back...

CrazyMelvin 14

Saturday 5 October 2013 23:49

YDI: that is just mean and insensitive.

sades03 1

Sunday 6 October 2013 0:11

do you have whisper because this is the top whisper on there?

uglyluckgirl 8

Sunday 6 October 2013 3:06

I'm deaf! :D

CHUBBYninja 18

Sunday 6 October 2013 6:04

then how did you know he was at the door? Gotchya there am I right?

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I'm just gonna walk away now...

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 108

Today, I was walking to the parking lot from class while texting. When I looked up as I approached my parking spot, I noticed the words "F*ck you Dave" keyed into my car. Hi, my name is Clare. Who's Dave? FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 483

You deserved it 2 259

Today, my husband started getting frisky, but I wasn't in the mood, so I said I'd just like to cuddle and talk. He decided a good topic of conversation was whether or not it would be physically possible to smoke my grandma's ashes from the cremation urn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 975

You deserved it 9 586

Today, I hooked up with a guy I know from the gym. This dude is built like The Hulk, over 6 feet tall and almost 24 stone. We were really getting into it when he slipped and his whole weight went onto my knee, which bent completely the wrong way and dislocated everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 144

Today, I was out for a nice walk and saw a man being attacked by a large crowd. Instinctively I ran to help him. I pushed one "thug" off him and that little time allowed him to escape. I later found out the man I saved had just keyed someone's car and they had intervened. Guess whose car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 071

You deserved it 11 713

Today, I found a "White Power" bumper sticker on the back of my car. I don't know what idiot thought it'd be funny to put it there, but now my neighbors think I'm a proud racist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 715

You deserved it 1 028