Intimacy: Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had...

By pleasedtomeetyou - 13/01/2010 16:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 171

You deserved it 16 394

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Same thing different taste

Impressive

By Anonymous - 01/01/2010 00:06 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time and hoped to make a good first impression. When I tried to say 'Hello', a loud rippling burp came up from my throat, and not only that. A small chunk of mucus flew out and landed on the floor between us. So much for a good first impression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 032

You deserved it 5 846

Oh, hai Mark!

By Anonymous - 11/10/2019 12:00

Today, my boyfriend's antisocial father actually decided to talk to me. Too bad I couldn't respond, due to the fact that I still had his son's penis in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 191

You deserved it 815

Well hello there…

By acinorev - 07/08/2021 22:01

Today, my boyfriend's antisocial father actually decided to talk to me. Too bad I couldn't respond, due to the fact that I still had his son's penis in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 129

You deserved it 524

By anon - 16/03/2015 04:10 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 779

You deserved it 2 594

By Oh God - 24/05/2018 06:00

Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 164

You deserved it 1 466

First impressions

By Jes_jes18 - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 473

You deserved it 7 758

Felicia doesn't approve

By uneek_3225 - 22/10/2009 05:53 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 825

You deserved it 3 543

OMG

By At least she knows I floss - 25/08/2017 14:15 - United States - Pomona

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents and everything was going perfectly. He and I even had some time alone upstairs, where I gave him a blowjob. After dinner, his mom helpfully pointed out something stuck in my braces and inspected it for me. It was a pube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 503

You deserved it 5 375

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 826

By the girlfriend - 26/08/2011 10:41 - United Kingdom

Today, at my boyfriend's house, I met his mother for the first time. And promptly fell in their pond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 092

You deserved it 4 170

lahp 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 20:16

that blows..... :D

CrazyWill 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 20:08

Ouch. Probably not the best way to meet her.

Comments

razorp 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 20:54

he's going to dump you

mulisha52 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 20:57

snikerdoodles... ur so hot!

luke666 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 21:00

HAHAHA thts the funniest thing I've heard all day...

davidhasmorefun 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 21:02

so you didn't spit it out to say hi?

CrazyZenlike 2

Wednesday 27 January 2010 11:57

Ok, that was hilarious 26 lmao

kidcucumber 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 21:08

hahahaahahahahaa givin head ftw

kev9082 8

Wednesday 13 January 2010 21:12

fail.

zombieboy_fml 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 21:17

Did she tell you that you were doing it wrong?

CallMeHush 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 21:19

She must have been impressed that you didn't try to talk while your mouth was full.

BeforeTheStorm 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 21:24

ohhhhh my god. hahah that sucks.

LemonStarship 5

Wednesday 13 January 2010 21:26

Hahahahahahaaha that's so freaking hilarious. Makes me wish that my gf was here...

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I gave a campus tour to a group of high school seniors. As I was showing off the dorms, one student asked, "Are these beds sturdy enough for threesomes?" Before I could respond, another kid shouted, "How would he know, I bet the only action he gets in bed is from his left hand." She's correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109 081

You deserved it 11 821

Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 548

You deserved it 55 977

Today, my girlfriend's "sheltered" 15-year-old niece is sharing our tiny home. Shortly after she arrived, I started to pass a kidney stone. I've had 3 hours of vomiting and cold-sweating while pissing acidic blood and a stone in absolute agony. The niece is "traumatized". FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 996

You deserved it 653

Today, I decided to introduce my girlfriend to my parents by telling them that we were gonna have a very special guest for dinner. While my mom was preparing the meal she asked, "What does he like?" I'm straight. My parents thought different. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 439

You deserved it 7 476

Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 336

You deserved it 1 543

Today, my parents threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't agree to convert to their new brand of Christianity. This is a day after they ranted at me about how I should speak my mind more and not let myself be controlled by other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 079

You deserved it 3 607