Intimacy: Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had...

By pleasedtomeetyou - 13/01/2010 16:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 171

You deserved it 16 394

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Same thing different taste

Impressive

By Anonymous - 01/01/2010 00:06 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time and hoped to make a good first impression. When I tried to say 'Hello', a loud rippling burp came up from my throat, and not only that. A small chunk of mucus flew out and landed on the floor between us. So much for a good first impression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 032

You deserved it 5 846

Oh, hai Mark!

By Anonymous - 11/10/2019 12:00

Today, my boyfriend's antisocial father actually decided to talk to me. Too bad I couldn't respond, due to the fact that I still had his son's penis in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 191

You deserved it 815

Well hello there…

By acinorev - 07/08/2021 22:01

Today, my boyfriend's antisocial father actually decided to talk to me. Too bad I couldn't respond, due to the fact that I still had his son's penis in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 129

You deserved it 524

By anon - 16/03/2015 04:10 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 779

You deserved it 2 594

By Oh God - 24/05/2018 06:00

Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 164

You deserved it 1 466

First impressions

By Jes_jes18 - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 473

You deserved it 7 758

Felicia doesn't approve

By uneek_3225 - 22/10/2009 05:53 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 825

You deserved it 3 543

OMG

By At least she knows I floss - 25/08/2017 14:15 - United States - Pomona

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents and everything was going perfectly. He and I even had some time alone upstairs, where I gave him a blowjob. After dinner, his mom helpfully pointed out something stuck in my braces and inspected it for me. It was a pube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 503

You deserved it 5 375

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 826

By the girlfriend - 26/08/2011 10:41 - United Kingdom

Today, at my boyfriend's house, I met his mother for the first time. And promptly fell in their pond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 092

You deserved it 4 170

lahp 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 20:16

that blows..... :D

CrazyWill 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 20:08

Ouch. Probably not the best way to meet her.

Comments

noPENGSinALASKA 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 2:34

written perfectly hahahahah good job OP

sasharaee 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 2:34

LMFAO, that's awesome.

Soniclover3 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 2:45

wow, that sucks AND blows

Sparkiee93 3

Thursday 14 January 2010 2:49

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. LOLFAG!!

sprawlguard 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 3:11

this is why this site is the bomb.

ServeRocks 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 3:21

u wanna blow me,???

GETOVERIT2039 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 3:31

Most likely the OP went over to her boyfriends house before his mother got home, then she arrived and lives got ******.

moovin247 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 3:58

rotfl! best one ever but tht sucks!! FYL

SumKid_fml 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 4:07

You were probly like, O hold on a sec, lemme finish up here...

sykes831 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 4:22

nomnomnomnom. haha *****.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, as caregiver, I had to physically remove the shit my grandpa had stuck in his rectum, because he doesn't remember how to shit. He barely knows who I am, which is good because when he remembers who he is, he becomes an abusive asshole. I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 197

You deserved it 95

Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 343

You deserved it 45 351

Today, I resorted to the oldest prank in the book: laxatives in the food. Except it wasn't for a prank, but just a desperate attempt to get my clingy boyfriend to leave me the hell alone. I think I'm going to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 572

You deserved it 12 685

Today, I had to sell my phone to pay for the phone bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 044

You deserved it 28 326

Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 193

You deserved it 8 742

Today, I woke up with a sore throat and a stuffy nose. As my boss is an asshat who hates allowing sick leave, I thought I could power through it, but halfway through my workday I sneezed so hard that I threw my back out. I had to go home early and now I can't move without pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 151