Love Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine,...

Ltl_Dust_Bunny - 23/03/2009 07:36 - United States

Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine, right up until he started telling me about his alien encounters and super psychic powers. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

MLM FML

Maddi - 04/05/2016 02:55 - United States - Houston

Today, I went on a coffee date with a man I met online. His "friend" had tagged along. We were having a good conversation, until the friend pulls out his laptop and says, "So let me tell you a little bit about our travel business," and talked about a pyramid scheme for an hour. FML

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notnerb - 19/05/2009 10:13 - New Zealand

Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML

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Smooth

firstdategonebad - 12/10/2012 18:43 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML

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Sounds like a keeper

Rae - 30/03/2023 10:00

Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed really nice. However, halfway through the date, he started talking about how he was a flat-earther, and believed that the moon landing was faked. Oh, and that birds aren't real. I had to endure another hour of his conspiracy theories before I could finally escape. FML

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Dream lover

not today satan - 14/01/2025 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've been flirting with at work. Some coworkers had discreetly warned me about him, but I thought he was cute. We get to the date, and after an hour of small talk, he spent the next two hours trying to get me to invest in his crypto coin thing that "is definitely going to be huge." FML

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holyshitbatman - 09/11/2012 04:53 - United States - Toledo

Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML

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Get out of there, fast

LeaveMeAlone - 23/02/2021 22:56

Today, I went on a date with a really cute guy. Things were going great, so we went to his place. While he was in the bathroom, I absentmindedly looked around his apartment. Unfortunately, his living room cupboard was half open, and I saw a shrine of pictures of me. Apparently, he's been stalking me for months. FML

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Fake news

sayno - 12/11/2010 11:06 - Switzerland

Today, I went to a coffee shop to meet an online date. I couldn't spot him, so he eventually came up and introduced himself. It seems his on-line picture must have been taken before I was born. I spluttered "This isn't going to work," and promptly scuttled out. FML

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Smooth

Chad - 27/04/2025 15:00 - United States - Macon

Today, I tried to flirt with the cute barista by pretending to know a lot about coffee. I said, “I’ll take a macchiato, extra creamy.” He smiled and said, “That’s… not a thing.” I panicked and said, “Neither is my love life.” FML

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blueglover - 27/03/2012 07:40 - United States - Perris

Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML

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erm 0

Monday 23 March 2009 20:09

Whoa...You actually MET Tom Cruise?

cchamp27 0

Monday 23 March 2009 20:08

And how is your life f*cked as a result of this?

JackTheRipper_fml 0

Monday 23 March 2009 20:07

boy you sure do know how to pick them

cchamp27 0

Monday 23 March 2009 20:08

And how is your life f*cked as a result of this?

recognizedd 0

Tuesday 24 August 2010 10:00

well did you listen?

erm 0

Monday 23 March 2009 20:09

Whoa...You actually MET Tom Cruise?

reyemrein 0

Monday 1 March 2010 23:27

^ HAHAHAHAHA This made my day!

screelov 0

Tuesday 31 August 2010 9:51

******* win.

CableX17 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 10:07

El oh El

mf_fml 0

Monday 23 March 2009 20:13

and i thought dealing with "cat dudes" was weird...

trucanadian 0

Monday 23 March 2009 20:13

there are thousands of these people. In some places, such as norway, they are banned. They are called scientologists.

AlyshaDeShae 10

Monday 23 March 2009 20:15

That's almost as bad as all those "born again" Christians who "don't want to preach to you" but also "don't want you to burn in hell" while they enjoy heaven. I think I would rather have your guy. :-D