Intimacy: Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to... - FML

By Anonymous - 05/01/2010 07:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 132

You deserved it 3 878

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Libido

By Jena - 05/08/2022 01:00 - United States - Portland

Spicy

Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 272

You deserved it 348

By Gabi - 20/02/2012 14:23 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 312

You deserved it 6 574

Slacker

By Anonymous - 13/05/2024 08:00 - United States - Babylon

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 127

By anon - 25/10/2010 05:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out my boyfriend watches porn. Specifically, today, while I was in the shower. In the next room. We were alone in the house and he still chose porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 766

You deserved it 7 189

So frustratiiiiing

By Anonymous - 26/06/2022 12:00

Spicy

Today, I caught my boyfriend masturbating, again. Meanwhile we haven’t had sex in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 481

Needs

By Bitchy girl who doesn't put out - 07/04/2026 09:00 - The Netherlands - Naaldwijk

Spicy

Today, I suspected something was up when my boyfriend snuck out of bed after he thought I fell asleep. I caught him jerking to porn in the living room and got really upset. He actually got mad, saying, "I have needs and you never put out and get bitchy when I try." FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 685

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 19:01 - Netherlands - Herkenbosch

Spicy

Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 517

You deserved it 6 696

By hannieannie - 09/02/2016 21:51 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 432

You deserved it 3 141

Bored

By Anonymous - 23/06/2022 18:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 359

You deserved it 437

In the mood

By Anonymous - 15/05/2025 14:00 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I came home early from work and caught my boyfriend jerking off. When I tried to flirt and say I could help him, he said he wasn't in the mood anymore. He hasn't touched me in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 138

Next

Top comments

Lucky_Adi 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 16:09

has he been looking at gay ****?

mattgotest2 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 16:13

He's obviously become obssesed and needs help. It's not necessarily you.

Comments

taylortrash1993 4

Friday 13 May 2016 5:25

Figure something out or your relationship is done--if it is not already.

TwiztidTaush 6

Monday 12 April 2021 13:23

At least he waits till you're asleep.... mine doesn't even do that. Or clean up his mess afterwards. I've stepped in it... three times.

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Today, I overheard my husband telling my step-dad that I have the same ability to sniff out chocolate in a house as a certain animal has to find truffles in the woods. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 326

You deserved it 6 497

Today, my child told me when she makes enough money to support herself, she's never going to speak to me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 871

You deserved it 1 193

Today, I thought I'd finally mastered the art of parallel parking. Feeling proud of myself, I got out of the car to admire my handiwork, only to realise I'd parked halfway onto the sidewalk and completely blocked the entrance to a cafe. I had to sheepishly move my car while enduring the glares of annoyed pedestrians. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 439

Today, as I was cleaning up after my two year-old, I found a pair of lacy underwear in his toy box. Not only are they not mine, but now I have to ask my husband if he's cheating on me. Or ask my babysitter if she's being having fun, instead of actually babysitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 647

You deserved it 1 736

Today, like most days, my mom screamed at me for not knowing the answer to one of her random questions. When I told her she could easily Google it or ask Siri, she went full nuclear meltdown and raged, "I’m not asking that bitch Siri, I’m asking YOU!" The words "batshit crazy" come to mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 135

Today, at the ripe age of 20, I spent the early hours of my morning violently vomiting blood every time I got too warm. I then had the pleasure of shitting in a plastic container for a stool sample, due to said problem, after one and half hours of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 91