Intimacy: Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving...

By Anonymous - 10/07/2012 10:03 - United States

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 890

You deserved it 41 414

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Same thing different taste

By Grand Slam - 10/09/2013 18:44 - Belgium - Leuven

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 766

You deserved it 6 752

Poor pillow

By Randy Candy - 12/02/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 346

You deserved it 300

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 18:41 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 736

You deserved it 4 013

All I need to do…

By Dreamblocker - 28/06/2021 22:00

Today, I was having an intense erotic dream. It was going great until I thought, "I hope this isn't a dream." This caused me to wake up. This isn't the first time I've cockblocked myself in a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 207

By Anonymous - 20/06/2009 11:13 - Switzerland

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 809

You deserved it 97 737

By RomanceFail - 02/04/2015 12:51 - United States - Crestwood

Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 066

You deserved it 3 385

By damnit - 16/10/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 737

You deserved it 4 277

By urgg - 05/09/2010 14:20 - United States

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 937

You deserved it 5 026

By whoslade - 28/06/2012 17:36 - United States

Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 932

You deserved it 4 592

By Ryan - 11/06/2011 14:24 - United States

Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 321

You deserved it 7 478

Midrash 5

Tuesday 10 July 2012 17:35

Your nuts...

SkoomaKi 27

Tuesday 10 July 2012 17:36

Expect that when your getting real head. Never rush a woman. I wish I could have sex dreams, if only I had imagination...

Comments

killer6969 16

Monday 16 July 2012 5:45

Lolz sucks to be u

jlperry31 10

Monday 16 July 2012 13:55

get some more often or at least j/o more

kmoney23 0

Thursday 19 July 2012 3:31

Will they heal

Nozzanoggin 6

Saturday 21 July 2012 14:30

one of the very few fml's I have literally laughed out loud to. Thank you OP :')

fmlnik 5

Sunday 22 July 2012 6:28

What's with all the ydi? I've killed and enslaved people In my dreams

SneezyBear 27

Friday 17 August 2012 6:13

What people seem to fail to realise is that this guy had a DREAM. You know, imaginary events happening in your mind??? I'm sure I'm not the only one who's done really odd things in dreams, things I would never do in real life. How do you know OP is the kind of guy who would push a woman's head down in real life? He DREAMT it, we've all dreamt ourselves doing random shit, are you saying that if I have a dream where I kill somebody that means I am a potential real-life murderer? Can't believe people's stupidity...

SailorSolaris 43

Monday 15 September 2014 4:45

There is no YDI here. The guy was having a dream. The body normally releases a paralytic chemical during REM sleep to prevent things like sleepwalking and such from happening. Nothing here is OP's fault. And guys sometimes do push on a woman's head a bit during oral. Natural response to pleasure.