Love: Today, I had the pleasure of driving in central London for the...

By I am not amused! - 03/11/2013 22:53 - United Kingdom - Andover

Today, I had the pleasure of driving in central London for the first time, to recover my drunk husband from his own brilliance, puking on the feet of Winston Churchill's statue in Parliament Square. At 4 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 537

You deserved it 3 646

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Same thing different taste

Oh what a night

By EmployeeOfTheMonth - 09/06/2013 23:33 - United States - Montpelier

Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 485

You deserved it 9 144

By dee - 10/12/2011 10:14 - United States

Today, I wound up cleaning vomit out of the window track of my car at midnight, in the nicest dress I own, after my husband got completely wasted at his office Christmas party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 814

You deserved it 3 327

By Anonymous - 15/06/2014 00:34 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, I started my job as a driving instructor. My first client showed up piss drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 228

You deserved it 4 246

Book him!

By Anonymous - 14/10/2010 13:42 - Reserved

Today, there were reports of a drunk and disorderly male, and I arrived at the scene only to discover a drunk guy having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me and shouted "God save the Queen!" It's then that I remembered it was my job to do something about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 776

You deserved it 3 518

By THOMASisMYname - 06/07/2011 17:06 - Canada

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 875

You deserved it 4 620

Party hard

By Coldflame - 06/03/2010 15:22 - United States

Today, I was designated driver for my friends. This entailed standing around in the cold for 3 hours, not drinking, dealing with drunk people, and oh yeah, I almost forgot, cleaning up vomit from my hair, my clothes, and my new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 150

You deserved it 7 530

Night on the tiles

By Anonymous - 07/04/2022 18:00

Today, my wife got drunk and stopped for a pee against the wheel of a parked police car, with three coppers and a dog inside it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 230

Gratitude

By fuckmylife - 28/04/2009 08:45 - United States

Today, I decided to be the sober housemate for the first time in a while. I drove my drunk friends to the bar and back, even buying them pizza before they passed out in the living room. I got repaid by catching my wasted housemate in my room, peeing all over my floor, bed, and nightstand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 375

You deserved it 8 372

By brodinn - 11/04/2014 13:48 - United States - Florence

Today, I watched a drunk guy getting thrown out of a bar, then get tased on the sidewalk outside. He was our designated driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 336

You deserved it 5 884

PANIC!

By big time traumatized - 02/11/2022 10:00

Today, my husband drank way too much white wine at a wedding and projectile vomited all over me and my car while I was driving. We were 5 miles from home and I have emetophobia (the fear of vomit/vomiting). FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 181

DooleyFTW 17

Monday 4 November 2013 8:45

Old Winston is well used to drunk idiots on and around his statue I'm sure!

robbilee 14

Monday 4 November 2013 8:43

Did you enjoy the sites?

Comments

Sputnikspak 13

Monday 4 November 2013 9:24

Should've let him sleep it off in the streets. Maybe waking up in a gutter would do him some good! Seriously who gets that shitfaced past college age? Once you're married you stay home and drink wine.

150493x 29

Monday 4 November 2013 10:23

Why should people who are past college age and married stay at home? That's ridiculous. My mum and dad, who are married, were out this weekend. You are allowed to enjoy yourself past college age you know.

raphanne_fml 33

Monday 4 November 2013 15:51

Not mentioning that letting her husband sleep in the streets of London could be dangerous.

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 4 November 2013 16:26

Getting shitfaced drunk is not the same as enjoying yourself.

150493x 29

Monday 4 November 2013 17:52

I never said that it was. Some people do go out with the intention of getting shitfaced and somehow find it fun but I was referring to the fact that people who are past college age and are married can still enjoy themselves.