Animals Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

zzdug - 08/02/2010 03:19 - United States

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

littlespoon - 04/02/2010 08:40 - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML

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Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

Anonymous - 07/10/2019 22:00

Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML

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crazycat - 13/05/2011 16:23 - Canada

Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML

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That's the power of love

Sorry kitty - 15/10/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, I tried to pet my cat. By doing so, I accidentally shocked her with the static electricity in my fingers, and she slashed my face in retaliation. FML

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'Cause you had a bad day, you're taking one down…

Anonymous - 14/06/2022 05:00 - United States

Today, I tripped on my coffee table and fell face first into my cat's litter box. To make it even worse, my cat was in there doing his business and, pun not intended, I scared the shit out of him. He ran away terrified, then I tripped over HIM while I was going to take a shower. Today is not my day. FML

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Anonymous - 28/12/2013 00:05 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

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insomnitude - 05/03/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

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Anonymous - 30/03/2012 07:45 - Australia - Perth

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

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Anonymous - 28/12/2018 06:00 - United States - Pittsford

Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML

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You were framed

Slippery! - 01/02/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, while walking through my living room, I slipped and nearly fell, narrowly avoiding hitting my head against a nearby door jamb. What did I slip on, you ask? A single cat treat. FML

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justanotherbird 19

Monday 8 February 2010 9:23

Win for Mr. Sprinkles!

shortie_sauce 0

Monday 8 February 2010 9:30

YDI for trying to put him in the freezer, dwight

HanaxD 0

Monday 8 February 2010 10:20

Wtf? This is the dumbest FML ever. And why does it matter what his name was? o.O

bexx1996 0

Monday 15 August 2011 23:36

*facepalm*

jusdef 0

Monday 8 February 2010 10:20

I agree with #12, this is one the worst FML ever posted. unless this was a mountan cat... you can safely asume no one cares...

tom9686 0

Monday 8 February 2010 10:25

may be a stupid fml but thats funny and at #12 the cats name dosent matter , but makes it funier " Mr. Sprinkles "

danielle8D 0

Monday 8 February 2010 10:28

i agree with number 15, mr sprinkles is hularious! and did you seriously try to put the cat in the freezer!! thats animmal abuse right there!!

Lozza111 0

Monday 8 February 2010 10:30

haha I can just imagine a cute multi coloured cat attacking you

Thatguywhotrolls 0

Monday 8 February 2010 10:32

******* poofy cat names...

null_fml 11

Monday 8 February 2010 10:52

Hoho! Is funny beause it sounds like the cat's name is relevant! But it is really not relevant!

azurablade 0

Monday 8 February 2010 15:25

hoho! is try to make family guy reference! ooh...

wazzaah 0

Monday 8 February 2010 11:04

gkgfh

wazzaah 0

Monday 8 February 2010 11:06

mr sprinkles 1, you 0

CrumbeldCookie 0

Monday 8 February 2010 11:38

I'm UA from the MarineCore FML

Cthulu 0

Monday 8 February 2010 15:24

you mean....THE MARINE CORPSE! inb4 grammar Nazis, it's a reference to the President pronouncing it that way.

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Today, after 2 months of my new neighbours' kids throwing rocks at our cars, constantly swearing at us, bullying my siblings in and out of school, and vandalising our property, their mother has convinced the landlord that we're the ones out of control. FML

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Today, I tried pouring water on myself like in Coyote Ugly to the song "Pour Some Sugar On Me." I ended up waterboarding myself and I didn’t stop until the pitcher was done. I felt like I was drowning the whole time, and my partner knew from the choking sounds. FML

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Today, whilst in a dressing room trying on some new clothes, I experienced the sheer terror of having someone fling a pair of dirty panties over the stall wall only to make off with some stolen ones, whilst you're still standing there in shock staring at another woman's dirty underwear. FML

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Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yelled at the top of her voice, "Stop following me, you freak." I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

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Today, in my role as a social worker, I was ordered by the court to take a very pregnant, petite 15-year-old for a prenatal exam. I'm an adult man. As she waddled into her appointment, I turned to see hate-filled stares in the entire waiting room. FML

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Today, I spent half an hour trying to convince my husband not to re-enact a video he saw online of a guy tying some rope to a running chainsaw, then swinging it around his head. He finally agreed not to do something so stupid. A few hours later, he did it anyway. FML

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