Animals: Today, I found out my son told his teachers that I make his brother...

By Bad Mother - 08/10/2015 11:53 - United Arab Emirates - Dubai

Today, I found out my son told his teachers that I make his brother Tom sleep on the floor, make him stay out of the house for long periods of time, and don't let him use the toilet. Tom is actually our cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 024

You deserved it 1 917

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Same thing different taste

By tony - 24/07/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 617

You deserved it 7 678

By spadesmollusques - 06/06/2016 05:13 - France - Strasbourg

Today, my 10-year-old son introduced me to Tom, his new best friend, and insisted we have him over to dinner. Tom is a slug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 084

You deserved it 1 366

By thecathater - 09/07/2013 13:35 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I found out that I'd been wrong to constantly accuse next door's cat of peeing on my car every night. It was actually my 16-year-old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 840

You deserved it 7 115

By parent - 08/03/2018 01:30

Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 244

You deserved it 2 845

By grrrr - 08/02/2010 00:35 - United States

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 430

You deserved it 2 896

By Pumpkin - 18/07/2009 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 214

You deserved it 102 978

Fight Club

By Back to youtube - 23/10/2023 22:00

Today, two weeks after I got my girlfriend's son to watch old Tom & Jerry cartoons instead of those awful YouTube kids channels, he got in trouble at school for whapping another kid in the face with a toy mallet. He mentioned he wanted to be like Jerry. I'm a dead man when my girlfriend hears this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 280

Beware!

By Anonymous - 24/11/2011 17:07 - United States

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 129

You deserved it 3 836

Proof

By George Saunders - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 154

You deserved it 54 235

By Anonymous - 27/04/2012 15:22 - United States - Pleasant Hill

Today, I woke up, got up, and felt something crunchy under my feet. My son thought it would be funny if he spread cat litter all around the house. Used cat litter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 329

You deserved it 2 581

MrSassypants 33

Friday 9 October 2015 1:48

You have a cat named Tom? How do you deal with the senseless violence gong on 24/7 between your cat and Jerry the mouse?

CaptainBlack 18

Friday 9 October 2015 1:52

Should have named him Mittens...

Comments

GrumpyGrinch 23

Friday 9 October 2015 17:51

Pets are family.

Enzymatically 14

Friday 9 October 2015 23:00

shame he doesn't understand

robinhoodlum 3

Sunday 11 October 2015 16:41

This would never have happened if you'd called Tom Mr Snufflebutt.

jonoLFC 6

Monday 12 October 2015 23:44

Your son is a legend.

EclipseCandy6 24

Tuesday 20 October 2015 13:31

You don't let your cat use the toilet!?!?

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The Top

Today, I arrived at work to find a bullet hole in the window of the storefront we're leasing. Security assured me it had always been there and the glass shards on the floor had somehow been missed in my many vacuum passes and the pre-lease inspection two months ago, so no need to worry or fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 994

You deserved it 1 362

Today, my friends told me, "Don't worry about your bad acne. It kind of looks like the pattern the avatars have on their heads." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 439

You deserved it 2 737

Today, I was complaining to my sister about how jealous I was of her looks. Her response was "Sometimes it's okay to be the ugly sister. Like, you have less of a chance of getting raped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 693

You deserved it 6 233

Today, I had just finished writing an essay for English. I was proud of it and thought it was one of my best works. I decided to show it to my mom, who is an English major. She read it, turned to me and said, "You know, if you actually want to go to UCLA, you're going to need to actually try." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 226

You deserved it 4 641

Today, my younger sister saw one of my friends "sack tap" me, and randomly did it to me herself as I walked past her. She doesn't get why it's "funny" when my friend does it but not as funny when she does it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 538

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he, "just can't keep dating a girl with so many split ends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 808

You deserved it 251

Same thing different taste

Fight Club

Beware!

Proof

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