Health: Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency...

By Kayla - 06/03/2012 00:43 - United States

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 865

You deserved it 8 578

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Same thing different taste

By cay - 30/01/2013 19:59 - United States - Holley

Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 336

You deserved it 3 250

By foxyreegan - 04/02/2012 05:22 - United States

Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 926

You deserved it 3 418

Honest mistake

By Anonymous - 02/12/2024 03:00 - Australia

Today, I mistook a coworker’s laughter for choking and performed the Heimlich maneuver on them in the break room. They weren’t choking, but now they’re afraid to laugh near me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 520

Nervous Nelly

By Anonymous - 12/05/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As the dentist was working on my teeth, he accidentally sprayed water all over my face. I couldn't stop laughing nervously, which made the dentist think I was choking. He ended up calling for backup and I had to explain that I was just laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 151

Wicked game

By Hellohaileyexoh - 27/08/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I went to get food. I was late so my friend ordered for me. I took a few bites and all of a sudden it got hard to breathe. I realized it was a blueberry muffin, and I'm deathly allergic to blueberries. I looked at my friend, and she was laughing, saying she wanted to see if it was true. I just got out of the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 183

You deserved it 5 914

Little tease

By pickles! - 03/06/2022 14:00

Today, I was at a friend's house teasing her with a pickle. She hates them so I thought it would be funny to pretend to deep throat it. Her dad came in and startled me so bad, I inhaled it. She had to call 911 while he performed the Heimlich maneuver. I’m no longer welcome back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 1 349

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 102

You deserved it 40 070

By GogurtBadass - 18/09/2013 16:55 - United States - Olympia

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the mouth while eating a Go-Gurt. I was eating it because I'd just had my wisdom teeth removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 676

You deserved it 5 381

Performative

By OliviaO - 24/12/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted, which caused me to choke on my Coke, which then caused me to fall off my chair. The joke wasn’t even that funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 275

By Noname - 13/03/2009 04:24 - United States

Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 601

You deserved it 68 725

YdoIhaveAchode 4

Tuesday 6 March 2012 8:51

That doctor is smooth like Keith stone.

TheOnlyAlan 0

Tuesday 6 March 2012 8:52

I'm in med school... I can't wait to use this some day.

Comments

thrAsHeRr9081 16

Tuesday 6 March 2012 21:40

"Oh, I'm a gummy bear. Gummy bear! ... AAAAAHHHHHHH!"

angelofshadows 0

Tuesday 6 March 2012 21:42

**** you that was funny

twaumat 28

Tuesday 6 March 2012 21:42

doctors and their cruel humor...lol

nessagurl 2

Tuesday 6 March 2012 22:16

This reminds me of my fav. Book ghost girl.. She died while choking on a gummy bear...

ilovefmlcvsbg 0

Tuesday 6 March 2012 22:34

Asshole doctor

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 6 March 2012 22:49

Probably. :)

husky22 0

Wednesday 7 March 2012 0:08

he's a "beary" amusing doctor

kaldarvonlupo 5

Wednesday 7 March 2012 0:24

Was it unbearable?

Cruewhore 5

Wednesday 7 March 2012 1:12

Wish my doctor had a sense of humor..

ankoku 2

Wednesday 7 March 2012 1:22

I woulda been like.. "Gummy outta here!"

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Today, I learned that my mother now refuses to drink anything but bottled water because she actually believes that the government is putting a chemical in tap water that lowers pregnancy rates. She is trying for her 5th child. FML

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Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 012

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Today, I was at a zoo with some friends in Germany. People were talking to this bird and it responded in complete, grammatically correct German sentences. One of my friends said 'Wow, that bird has better grammar than the exchange student!' A bird speaks better German than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 468

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Today, I had to submit references so my anatomy/physiology teacher might acknowledge that tetanus is not the same as muscle cramps, and correct the lesson that's been in place for six years. FML

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You deserved it 99

Today, I took my iPod to Walmart to replace the battery. They tell me to call Apple. I go home again and call Apple. They tell me to call Walmart. I call Walmart. They tell me to bring it in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 820

You deserved it 3 976

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

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You deserved it 4 513