Miscellaneous: Today, I came to the conclusion that all the my karma originates...

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By lilpoohead - 07/05/2016 00:51 - United States

Today, I came to the conclusion that all the my karma originates all the way back to the time I drunkenly made fun of a man on omegle for having a penis the size of a baby carrot and grapes for balls. FML

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vote type 1 63

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DerrickJames 33

Saturday 7 May 2016 23:44

im under the assumption that you were a kid when you said this and now that you've grown you have the same problem??

Comments

DerrickJames 33

Saturday 7 May 2016 23:44

im under the assumption that you were a kid when you said this and now that you've grown you have the same problem??

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

agreeclassic 84 756

vote type 1 26 770

Today, I took a cough drop to soothe my sore throat, only to choke, gag, and spend the next ten minutes at the point of vomiting because the bitter lozenge got stuck in my windpipe. FML

agreeclassic 25 135

vote type 1 3 751

Today, at work, I was looking for my lost wallet. After hours of looking I gave up and went home. The wallet then showed up in my mail box with an envelope marked "To the asshole." I opened the letter and it was filled with poop. My wallet too. FML

agreeclassic 32 751

vote type 1 5 080

Today, I was drying my duvet and pillows in the dryer. Apparently, one of the pillows was memory foam, which I was not aware of. It caught on fire due to the heat and nearly burned down my laundry room. FML

agreeclassic 1 151

vote type 1 845

Today, I woke up late and grabbed what I thought was a granola bar on my way out. It wasn’t until I was halfway through eating it that I realized it was a dog treat. I had the godawful taste in my mouth all throughout the day, despite several cans of Pepsi and Mountain Dew. FML

agreeclassic 115

vote type 1 525

Today, I babysat a 4-year-old child for my neighbor. It seems he had diarrhea. The evidence of this is in his pants, down his leg, on the couch, on the bathroom floor, smeared on my wall, and in the shape of a brown handprint on my shirt. FML

agreeclassic 56 595

vote type 1 4 286