Animals: Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children...

By Sammy - 25/02/2013 07:25 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 226

You deserved it 4 659

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Same thing different taste

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 05/07/2019 14:00

Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 707

You deserved it 310

By hadtocleanthemess - 28/06/2011 12:35 - Canada

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 894

You deserved it 4 207

Clever boy

By Lisa87 - 21/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 101

Relax

By Anonymous - 05/03/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I was craving some comfort food, so I grabbed a bag of nachos from the cupboard and sat down to binge-watch Netflix. As I opened the bag, the chips exploded everywhere, spilling all over the couch, and floor. I spent the next half hour picking up crumbs while my dog and cats happily ate the scraps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 152

By 2k16 - 17/03/2016 02:48 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I came home to find that my dog had figured out how to open the fridge again. He'd helped himself to raw eggs and crab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 841

You deserved it 1 687

By Anonymous - 15/10/2018 15:33

Today, I fell asleep while watching a movie. My puppy took this opportunity to help himself to half a gallon of vegetable oil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 687

You deserved it 508

Goddamn mayo

By Jay703 - 03/08/2016 02:21 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, while taking out a jar of mayonnaise, it slipped from my hand, landing on its lid, exploding, and covering both of my dogs from head to tail in it. Terrified, they fled, leaving a trail of globs of mayo. After cleaning both dogs and the house, they both threw up from eating too much mayonnaise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 614

You deserved it 1 315

Naughty boy

By Stoopiddogbot - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 098

You deserved it 4 509

Chillin' with Satan

By Anonymous - 06/12/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I sat down on my couch with a nice cool beer after a tough day at work. I tried opening a bag of chips. The bag exploded, covering me in chips and crumbs, turning me into a sticky human nacho. Well, my dog certainly saw me as a snack, and I had to shower and change clothes. So much for relaxing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 162

Home sweet home

By Enough - 20/06/2025 01:00 - Romania

Today, when I got home from the store, the dog was wiping his ass on the carpet, my two older boys were brawling, my youngest was crying because he'd broken a glass and cut himself, and my husband was in the kitchen, eating the cake I'd told him to leave alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 94

iemislayer 10

Monday 25 February 2013 16:13

Why do you have oil in the frier sitting in the cupboard??? It should always be drained before storing away

starcable 9

Monday 25 February 2013 16:11

wow if I was the husband and my wife came home to that she probably kill me for not noticing something like that.

Comments

karlcolt45 19

Monday 25 February 2013 18:24

at least they all didn't get into the fry oil

alexafml 5

Monday 25 February 2013 19:14

I don't really like dogs in the house, if he's digging he's bored. You should let him go play outside :)

Ameel_fml 19

Tuesday 26 February 2013 5:06

Or maybe he could just smell the oil and thought it would make a good meal? Just because the dog ate something it shouldn't have, doesn't mean its bored and/or kept locked in the house with no way out.

Sputnikspak 13

Monday 25 February 2013 19:38

That sounds like something my dog would do. He thinks cat poop is a delicacy... Time to get some Nature's Miracle. Maybe a gallon jug will do.

mgrabi01 10

Monday 25 February 2013 19:54

Your nasty for keeping oil in a deep fryer thats stored away in a cupboard. Clean your dishes so that the next time your dog decides to have an adventure in the cupboard, it won't have anything to lick clean! Nasty people!!!!

ntiger8705 2

Monday 25 February 2013 20:19

YDI. You should never keep used oil in dark closed places. it becomes rancid and full of bacteria and your whole family could become sick, not just ur dog. either strain it n store it properly of dispose of it after the first use. that's disgusting.

travisbell5 1

Monday 25 February 2013 20:58

Dogs must be starting to get smarter. First dog opening door and now this... WOW :-P

jadenation 3

Monday 25 February 2013 21:14

'murica

sxm 13

Monday 25 February 2013 21:22

That's ******* hilarious.

MooseKnuckle5150 13

Monday 25 February 2013 21:40

It happened on his watch, he can clean it. But, why the **** did you store it with old oil in it??

twiztedone 19

Monday 25 February 2013 21:54

And this is why you don't leave things like that down for the animals to get! Why would you leave a deep fryer filled with old oil down? Sounds more like YDI then FML.