Health: Today, I came down with the flu. I'm supposed to go on a romantic... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By coughingupaLung - 09/03/2016 11:22 - United States - Lexington

Today, I came down with the flu. I'm supposed to go on a romantic trip to Mexico in 3 days. I saved up money for the past year for this trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

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Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Today, my company published "return to work" procedures for when the pandemic stops. HQ is in Maryland, I live in Arizona. I have worked remotely for the last 8 years. My new boss didn't know this. He wants me to move back to Maryland or find another job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 499

You deserved it 118

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 666

You deserved it 51 527

Today, some punk got up in my face yelling at me, pushed my wife and scratched my car with a, "What you gonna do, old man?" attitude, and yet I’m the bad guy who gets arrested because I open-palm slapped him and he fell into a glass window and fucked up his face and neck, probably permanently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 297

You deserved it 370

Today, I was sitting in the living room with my parents when my dad asked my mom if she knew where he could find some double a batteries. She said to check my vibrator. He said he already did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 375

You deserved it 8 997

Today, I was sharing my screen on a company Zoom call. I inadvertently Teams messaged my colleague saying that the lady who was speaking on this video sounded annoying. Unbeknownst to me, the lady was one of the participants in the call. I forgot I was sharing my screen. They saw the conversation. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 1 145

Today, I discovered that more than half my family has disowned me on both my mother's and father's sides, and whilst I was having my mental breakdown about this, I tried to call my boyfriend to tell him what had happened, He fell asleep and didn't call me back for 5 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 277