Miscellaneous: Today, I awoke at 5am to the smell of smoke and the sound of...

By Muffinhater - 24/12/2009 03:21 - United States

Today, I awoke at 5am to the smell of smoke and the sound of sirens. It seems the whole Santa Monica Fire Department had made it outside our apartment complex. We had to wake up every single person on our floor. What for? An old lady burned a muffin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 363

You deserved it 2 438

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Same thing different taste

By chinesef000d - 29/08/2009 05:38 - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 974

You deserved it 3 200

By agstone - 09/08/2017 23:15

Today, at 2:47 am, my mom woke me up in a panic screaming about smelling gas and the house blowing up. Twenty minutes, two fire trucks, and a traumatized dog later, it was just the neighbors burning their mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 095

You deserved it 227

Make it stop

By Elephant1718 - 12/06/2013 01:16 - United States - The Dalles

Today, I was looking forward to my only day to sleep-in this month while I'm balancing school and work. I was rudely awakened at 6 am by my sister and her friend trying to make pancakes, burning them, and setting off the fire alarm in my house for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 906

You deserved it 3 076

Oh nose!

By Fried. - 14/05/2019 16:00

Today, I woke up to the smell of cooking bacon. As I walked down my stairs towards my kitchen, I realised that the smell wasn't coming from bacon, but from my kitchen being on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 984

You deserved it 135

By im_a_mocker - 28/01/2009 23:35 - United States

Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 317

You deserved it 5 927

Making a scene

By Anonymous - 16/04/2023 18:00

Today, a guy I been seeing went to work and left me in his house. As I made a bagel, it burned, the smoke alarm went off. This activated a call to the fire department but I didn’t know. The fire truck showed up. Little did I know, the guy’s family was outside too, just to see what had happened, thinking I'd broken in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 245

By Dxx - 06/03/2011 07:18 - United States

Today, I was babysitting for my usual parents. After putting the baby to sleep I put some popcorn in the microwave and went to the bathroom. When I came out the whole kitchen was filled with smoke. One of the neighbors saw and called 911. I'm out of a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 243

You deserved it 34 921

Emergency cooking

By YoshiSqu4d - 31/07/2020 20:01

Today, I managed to set off the smoke detectors while cooking burgers. The cops and fire department showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 153

You deserved it 371

By fire - 15/12/2009 00:00 - United States

Today, I had to call 911. Why? My fireplace caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 547

You deserved it 6 609

Ventilation

By Anonymous - 29/06/2023 18:00 - United States - Victorville

Today, I woke up at 4 a.m. to the smell of something burning. My husband and I checked the house, and I was convinced there was possibly an electric fire. Went back to bed, then when I woke again I remembered I'd straightened my hair the day before and that’s what the burnt smell was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 741

BritishHobo 0

Thursday 24 December 2009 18:55

You suck.

Happy_Elf 0

Thursday 24 December 2009 9:52

Dude, that sucks Dx You'll just have to do something equally as annoying to get back at her ^_^

Comments

leadrunner751 3

Wednesday 6 January 2010 5:32

love the name

canadapwns 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 20:08

haha : p

Nyambi232 0

Tuesday 4 May 2010 5:03

better 2 be safe than sorry. you never know what could happen.

GrammarFailure 0

Tuesday 18 May 2010 19:22

Nursing home time. She's just a threat to herself and everyone around her.

seroquels 0

Thursday 29 July 2010 1:44

well look on the bright side, at least no one was hurt. still a shitty start to your day.

tchaikovsky93 0

Monday 16 August 2010 16:08

Hahahahahahaha

truehitman2010 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 6:00

30 the muffin was k.I.a he was a good man helped the twenty second bluberry bragade capture the oven little did they know it was a trap :(

mrjamjama66 5

Thursday 28 April 2011 23:03

those old lady's are walking wrinkle sacks of all kinds of hazards

kingofchips 0

Friday 1 July 2011 14:58

Mmm crispy muffins :)

hebron77 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 13:34

Start a mob and kick her out of the building, Spartan style.

simongergi 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 1:16

who the f*ck bake at 5am?

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Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 167

You deserved it 8 144

Today, I once again realized that I have no idea what I am supposed to do in this life, and don't know what to do with myself. I just live because that's the easiest thing to do, and try to entertain myself while searching for meaning. The meaning to my life; what I should pursue. I've been searching for a long time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 298

Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 730

You deserved it 3 600

Today, my husband threw out all of the spices in the cupboard. When I asked him why he said, "Our cat was named Spicy and I can't stand to look at them." Our recently deceased cat's name was Dicey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 706

You deserved it 3 351

Today, after three months of them dating, I finally met the guy my best friend claims she's in love with. To my horror, she's dating the douchebag that I had a one-night stand with a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 479

You deserved it 6 983

Today, I went out to buy my wife some flowers and a chocolate bar that I overhead she liked the other day. On the way home, I was complimented on the bouquet I chose and feeling pretty good about myself. When I got home it turned out I got the wrong kind of flowers and the wrong percent of dark chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 033

You deserved it 141