Christmas and Intimacy: Today, Christmas Eve, I told my wife she has three presents to...

By notagoodjoke - 25/12/2016 01:01 - United States - Vincentown

Today, Christmas Eve, I told my wife she has three presents to choose from: one large, one small and one tiny. She immediately responded, "Is the tiny one in your pants?". FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 780

You deserved it 2 248

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Same thing different taste

By manhood fading away - 25/12/2016 20:24 - United Kingdom - Heckmondwike

Today, because it was our first Christmas as a couple, I was careful to get my girlfriend what I considered to be a very thoughtful gift. She opened it, took one look at it, made a face like I'd just kicked a puppy, and told me that in future it would be better if I just gave her money so she could buy her own presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 204

You deserved it 776

By Anonymous - 24/12/2015 23:47 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I opened my Christmas presents with my husband. One of the things he got me was a ball gag. "Yeah," he said with a grin, "That one's more for me but I didn't wanna buy myself headphones." Cue our son asking me what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 342

You deserved it 2 178

Influencers

By Anonymous - 26/12/2020 08:01

Today, my wife asked me to wrap an empty box to put under the Christmas tree. She didn't want her vlog followers to think she didn't get me any gifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 134

By ima nerd - 25/12/2010 07:31 - United States

Today, I gave my wife a $900 necklace as a special Christmas gift. She gave me a set of Star Wars pajamas. As it turns out, I was more excited to wear my gift than she was to wear hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 317

You deserved it 5 868

By nottoosmall - 03/04/2013 16:57 - United States

Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 786

You deserved it 15 634

Toys R Us

By microlovin - 28/07/2013 07:45 - United States - Pasadena

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 831

You deserved it 9 270

By selfishsexysanta - 24/12/2012 18:06 - United States

Today, I gave my husband an early Christmas present: Santa-themed lingerie. He got angry and called me selfish, for "using" him as an excuse to get myself nice stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 463

You deserved it 13 850

By foutu - 21/02/2010 11:52 - France

Today, while my wife was watching me get undressed she said "Bloody hell, you really are getting a beer belly. And it makes your already tiny willy look even tinier." All her accusations are true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 783

You deserved it 7 740

By fuckered519 - 06/12/2014 19:53 - United States - Du Quoin

Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 256

You deserved it 12 620

Romance me please

By trembelwick - 03/12/2011 10:04 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 818

You deserved it 6 078

Dave_Davington 33

Sunday 25 December 2016 8:22

Last Christmas, I gave you my dick The very next day, you said it's not very thick This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone desperate

maritime1992 5

Sunday 25 December 2016 8:51

Oh please. If this FML was about a husband making fun of a wife's loose pussy, everyone would lose their shit and tell her to file for a divorce. Gotta love that double standard.

Comments

Joshawott 21

Thursday 29 December 2016 4:09

If it were me, I would have meekly replied "...yes"...then pulled an actual present out of my trousers.

manuwish 9

Friday 30 December 2016 15:22

it's a legit question, there's no reason he couldn't have it in the pocket of his pants, since he described the present as being tiny, maybe she's not thinking pervy or ironically referring to his manhood..the funniest jokes are the unintentional ones..the person who feels directly attacked by such a comment has self confidence issues. Put it another way, would she be with him if she wasn't satisfied with his manhood?