Intimacy: Today, at dinner, I was talking to my parents about a movie quote.... - FML

By Allabouttheporn - 22/12/2016 00:05

Today, at dinner, I was talking to my parents about a movie quote. I couldn't remember what movie it was from. Then I remembered. It was a porno. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 006

You deserved it 3 336

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Same thing different taste

By monty - 09/03/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 413

You deserved it 13 455

By Foot In Mouth - 13/07/2016 02:46 - United States - Bentonville

Today, while meeting a new client, their assistant said I looked familiar. Before my brain could stop me, I blurted out, "I do porn." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 304

You deserved it 6 062

Epic prank

By Andrew - 24/09/2010 10:22 - United States

Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 304

You deserved it 4 590

Animated movies

By Penny - 18/01/2020 20:00

Today, at work, I was discussing animated movies with a male senior who's got kids. I was trying to refer to Zootopia but couldn't remember the name. I went, "Zoo, zoo... filia?" Silence. It wasn't until I got home an hour later that I realized what I said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 662

You deserved it 480

By Anonymous - 29/07/2016 18:10

Today, I was playing a game with my family where we had to say the name of an actor/actress that started with a certain letter. When I said mine, my dad grounded me because he knew it was a pornstar. Now my mom is mad at my dad for watching porn too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 709

You deserved it 7 363

What is the real feeling?

By Anonymous - 06/11/2019 05:15

Today, my friends and I were acting out porn scenes without sex. Then, I realized that we all watch too much porn, and we are still all virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 2 491

By alison89430 - 05/12/2016 22:35 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 002

You deserved it 988

By THANKS4theINFO - 23/05/2010 23:15 - United States

Today, I was watching a movie at my girlfriend's house with her and her parents. There was a part where a brother and sister kissed, so I said "where'd they come from, Alabama?" Today is also the day I found out my girlfriend's parents are from Alabama. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 942

You deserved it 38 751

By Kourou - 21/11/2008 12:53 - France

Today, I went to rent a DVD with my 85-year-old grandpa. I was walking around and then realized I was alone. I looked for him for quite a while until I finally found him open-mouthed in the porn section. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 238

You deserved it 3 058

Not coming out

By HidenSeek - 08/05/2009 01:39 - United States

Today, my mom and I were watching this movie in which some girls start making out. My mother called them "sinners" claiming they'll "burn in hell twice". Then she said, "God doesn't like gays." I'm a lesbian. I picked out this movie as a way of coming out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109 094

You deserved it 17 114

Next

Top comments

Frabens 1

Thursday 22 December 2016 12:42

What kind of quote would **** have that could have been brought up at dinner?

Goblin182 26

Thursday 22 December 2016 13:11

What was the quote? "Ahhh ahhhh, oh **** I'm cumming?"

Comments

gnateye 7

Thursday 22 December 2016 21:11

a quote from a porno? riiiiiiiiiight

thanaboss 2

Thursday 22 December 2016 21:59

Link me for um... research

pjsr 32

Thursday 22 December 2016 23:47

Where's the YDI button?

Cali 54

Friday 23 December 2016 3:50

Fixed!

Incognico 22

Friday 23 December 2016 0:14

To quote or not to quote, thats the question

kitsuneluvuh 12

Friday 23 December 2016 0:46

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

alaina1104 11

Friday 23 December 2016 3:06

Just take solace in the fact that they didn't recognize it (hopefully)

DumpsterKidd 3

Friday 23 December 2016 3:29

Was it something like "don't blow your hose all over the floor"?

sirdannyboy1 20

Friday 23 December 2016 4:49

"I am the captain now"

gquagmire 17

Friday 23 December 2016 5:13

"Where'd the pineapple go?"

SomeRandomUser 19

Friday 23 December 2016 7:33

Okay. Now I'm curious about what you were trying to quote.

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You deserved it 54 368

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 825

You deserved it 7 889

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I agree, your life sucks 57 563

You deserved it 3 383

Today, my boyfriend bought me a silver necklace. I have a silver allergy, but I thanked him anyway and encouraged him to return it. I found out later that he knew about my allergy all along and bought it on purpose so he could return it, get a refund, and still look good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 412

You deserved it 5 023

Today, I tried to clock in at 2 pm, but the machine was malfunctioning and kept refusing my card until 2:01. Just yesterday, our manager gave a long angry speech about firing the next person who doesn’t clock in when they’re supposed to, “on the dot.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 060

You deserved it 106

Today, at my cousin's wedding, there was a bouquet toss. I jumped to catch it, only to get knocked down and crushed by a woman twice my size who'd jumped backwards. It still feels like someone shattered my ribs with a sledgehammer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 847

You deserved it 2 818