Health: Today, and for the last week, every time I cough, sneeze or gag... - FML

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By onehotmomma90 - 10/05/2016 12:21 - Canada - Gorrie

Today, and for the last week, every time I cough, sneeze or gag I piss myself. I have the flu... FML

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PineappleTango12 11

Wednesday 11 May 2016 1:50

Time to invest in some adult size diapers, op.

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PineappleTango12 11

Wednesday 11 May 2016 1:50

Time to invest in some adult size diapers, op.

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Today, I asked my husband how much he loved me and he refused to answer, because he was convinced I was using some unfair logic to start an argument, simply because I wanted to argue over something, anything. I later realised he was probably right. I’m an awful person. FML

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vote type 1 1 767

Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML

agreeclassic 13 710

vote type 1 45 096

Today, it's my birthday. When my crush spotted me in the hallway and wished me a Happy Birthday, my nerves got the best of me and I blurted out, "You too!" FML

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vote type 1 5 340

Today, my dad asked my brother not to use his shaver so late at night. That wasn't him, and it wasn't his shaver either. FML

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vote type 1 3 325

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

agreeclassic 41 988

vote type 1 26 226

Today, I finally beat depression by going for a walk on the beach. I couldn't contain myself and happily played in waist-deep water as I walked. I realized my keys for my car, mail, house, and work had fallen out of my pockets and into the ocean, never to be seen again. FML

agreeclassic 942

vote type 1 518