Love: Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I...

By Anonymous - 10/02/2015 14:51 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 512

You deserved it 20 944

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Malarky - 23/06/2016 19:10 - United States

Today, I had a cute girl over and we cuddled on my bed. Later she texted me that she had decided that she didn't want to ever do that again because it turned her on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 263

You deserved it 1 240

By Anonymous - 26/03/2009 16:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came up to me and told me we would never do anything sexual in our relationship. She said I was too adorable to take seriously in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137 118

You deserved it 10 558

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 11:40 - United Kingdom - Chatham

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 423

You deserved it 3 441

No

By grlks - 19/02/2009 07:08 - United States

Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 119

You deserved it 5 890

By Anonymous - 20/04/2013 23:08 - United States - Denver

Today, I overheard the guy I like talking to one of his friends about me. His friend asked if he and I were dating, to which he replied, "No way, dude. I have standards." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 801

You deserved it 4 884

By pineapple456 - 16/02/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a girl in my apartment when I told her I didn't have a condom. She started laughing and upon realizing my look of confusion, said "Oh, you actually thought I was going to have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 595

You deserved it 18 000

Topping from the bottom

By Anonymous - 23/01/2023 21:00

Today, my girlfriend wanted to have a conversation about sex. After she finished telling me what she liked, in exact detail, I said, "Well, I really like…" She cut me off and said, "I don't give a fuck what you like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 319

By CUCKOO - 26/10/2013 21:27 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 385

You deserved it 5 056

Denied

By Anonymous - 30/08/2023 22:00

Today, I started coming on to my girlfriend, only to get a nasty rejection. I told her I would just go jerk off, to which she replied, "Don't you dare!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 148

Spill the tease

By Anonymous - 07/05/2023 18:00

Today, my girlfriend teased me by asking if I wanted to fuck her best friend in the ass. Obviously it was a joke, but now I can't stop thinking about it and I know it will never happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 1 108

DonkeyTeeth2013 22

Wednesday 11 February 2015 0:38

Well, you asked for it!

ninjahesten 18

Wednesday 11 February 2015 0:36

apply cold water to that burn..

Comments

thatoneguy172 3

Thursday 12 February 2015 17:30

Well you were rude, she just insulted you back.

dumpless 13

Saturday 14 February 2015 4:19

Mess with the bull get the horns OP ydi

graciemaybae 3

Saturday 14 February 2015 6:34

that's kinda funny sorry

bacon_lover03 12

Saturday 14 February 2015 18:34

Ouch >_< XD That is one heck of a burn

Magnic 6

Saturday 14 February 2015 20:50

You should just go with the flow. You could have the night of your life then you ****** up.

newyorkcityguy 9

Saturday 14 February 2015 23:20

FYL but she got you good m8

theoretical 6

Thursday 19 February 2015 20:58

you really did deserve that one mate

moonmoon 5

Wednesday 27 June 2018 5:18

That’s what happens when you kink shame

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my boyfriend proposed with the perfect ring, restaurant, flowers, and champagne. He’s never been this well prepared for anything in his life, so he admitted that my mother planned the whole thing and forced him to propose, even though neither of us want to get married. She even bought the ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306

You deserved it 172

Today, my girlfriend went on yet another long-winded rant about how dogs are family and should be treated as such, whilst stuffing her face with ribs. I asked her what the difference was between a dog and the pile of pig parts on her plate. Her only response was to call me a monster and dump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 277

You deserved it 2 737

Today, I realised my sex drive has improved massively since I started fantasising about Bruno from Encanto on the regular. I thought my lack of appetite was because of my mental health issues. Apparently not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 320

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 852

You deserved it 53 790

Today, I dropped some glass at my job while putting it on the shelf. A shard bounced off the floor and went up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 010

You deserved it 188

Today, I took my clothes off for a shower at an RV campsite. I started running the water when I noticed there was a pack of hornets in the bathroom. I stood there, stark naked, waiting for a chance to get out, for four hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 081

You deserved it 5 635

Same thing different taste

No

Topping from the bottom

Denied

Spill the tease

Top comments

Comments