Money, Capitalism and Miscellaneous: Thick as thieves

Thick as thieves

By blovesg - 07/04/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the same store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 422

You deserved it 539 852

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Same thing different taste

By Bucks9 - 07/05/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 265

You deserved it 7 153

By disciplinaryaction - 21/11/2011 07:02 - United States

Today, a woman and her daughter came into the store I work at. The girl placed a pair of underpants on the counter, and confessed she had stolen them earlier. Assuming she had already heard a lecture, I simply thanked her for bringing them back. Her mom yelled at me for not yelling at her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 776

You deserved it 3 359

J'accuse !

By Anonymous - 10/08/2010 21:34 - United States

Today, I was shopping at a store from which I had previously bought a shirt. The clerk accused me of trying to steal my own shirt and called security. They examined it and argued with me for so long I was late to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 209

You deserved it 3 017

Stars of CCTV

By Stfu lil brat smh - 26/03/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 2 046

Are you new?

By Anonymous - 28/06/2012 02:28 - United States - Lakewood

Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 785

You deserved it 2 537

By what_the_hell - 20/06/2013 08:35 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 903

You deserved it 3 607

Snitched

By Anonymous - 10/02/2024 21:00

Today, I caught a grubby, evil-smelling, foul-mouthed woman blatantly shoplifting by stuffing electronics into her coat pockets, so I detained her and called the police. Less than an hour later I was fired. She was the shop owner's mother and “had permission” to just take stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 113

By disappointment son - 19/05/2017 12:00

Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 505

You deserved it 249

Jedi mind trick

By Anonymous - 12/04/2018 19:00

Today, while covering lunch for the self-checkout host, I noticed a customer walking away. I smiled and said, "Have a nice night!" A few minutes later, I saw that she'd left without paying on her machine. I'd smiled and waved at a lady as she stole from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 838

You deserved it 826

It's not what you think

By Shopper - 23/05/2012 22:50 - United States

Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 356

You deserved it 7 721

Endymion_fml 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 9:47

You deserved that one hundred percent, you thieving bastard.

PhoenixLE 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 9:47

You're a moron. YDI.

Comments

shawleigh17 2

Tuesday 7 April 2009 17:50

Girls don't think it's sexy to shoplift... it means you don't have a job, you like to leech off other people without working for anything yourself, and that you are incapable of being mature. I suggest you try another tactic to win over the ladies.

revezone 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 17:53

if you were shoplifting because you needed food and were seriously in the gutter broke and economic times were hard etc., id understand. but if you were shoplifting for vanity's sake, YDI.. which is exactly wat u were doing and dont tell yourself anything otherwise. i seriously doubt you were going to sell that shirt to buy milk and bread for your family. and btw, u never admit to shoplifting anywhere near the vicinity of the store. dont be stupid. if ur gona commit a crime, dont talk about it. it's the quickest way to getting arrested.

Edmund_Dantes 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 17:54

Wow, lazy, immoral and stupid. You're a real catch.

jesseheath 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 18:01

"she seemed cool" ... youre a ******* idiot. why is stealing shit "cool"?

blueworld_fml 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 18:02

I haven't thought of a way to spin shoplifting for sexual benefits. Until we do, shoplift only from the ugly chicks.

katydid12 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 18:13

oh you're cool. did you actually think you would get any sympathy or laughs when you started out with, "i was at the mall shoplifting"? what is wrong with you?

A7X5989 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 18:15

your an idiot... go play in traffic

B00_fml 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 18:17

Idiot. I hope you get prosecuted.

rebboy_2008 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 18:19

Definitely more of a "F, I'm stupid" than a FML.

nickfarrari 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 18:23

So, you tried to pick up a chick while shoplifting...lmao...i wish she would have led you on a bit more before she made you feel like such a dumb shit...