Intimacy: The moment after

The moment after

By Anonymous - 02/08/2009 11:33 - Australia

Today, I woke up and called my boyfriend. We had amazing phone sex, even better because no one was home and we didn't have to be quiet. Afterwards, I walk out into the kitchen. My mum hadn't gone to work that morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 027

You deserved it 57 634

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Same thing different taste

By saddened97 - 20/01/2011 09:39 - Australia

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 753

You deserved it 12 912

Nope out of there

By twintowers - 04/07/2009 20:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 452

You deserved it 23 294

Timing

By kay_jay1819 - 19/11/2010 05:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 015

You deserved it 33 510

Cold shower

By MrAwsum - 17/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 574

You deserved it 48 757

By Gwayhir - 19/11/2008 04:58 - France

Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 103

You deserved it 4 928

By anonymous - 21/02/2011 05:01

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 019

You deserved it 14 950

By johnboy - 09/11/2010 17:08 - United States

Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 835

You deserved it 37 166

By liz1234 - 23/03/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 246

You deserved it 8 144

In the mood

By Steve - 16/12/2012 06:25 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 852

You deserved it 18 399

By Anonymous - 05/04/2011 18:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 885

You deserved it 5 305

kewl92 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 16:07

YDI A) phone sex is retarded B) You should've checked no one's home and not just assume everybody's at work

Evan2297 0

Wednesday 14 December 2011 12:38

Don't have phone sex, you might get hearing AIDS.

Comments

iFaisal 3

Monday 3 August 2009 10:17

hehehehe, oh my god. this is really embarrassing!

RavishMe77 0

Monday 3 August 2009 10:20

Awkward!!! If it were me, my mom would have never let me out of the house again after hearing that. :P

kitterkateee 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 21:56

jeez, that sucks.

Lady_Slim_Shady 0

Sunday 4 October 2009 0:12

wow phone sex is for people that can get real sex lol

yasmeenjonasx3 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 10:16

You're pathetic. Having phone sex? You're just making up for all the action your missing out of REAL sex. Phone sex isn't pleasuring at all...

lindseytaylor201 0

Tuesday 20 July 2010 1:47

#15 so true that's how it should be. :)

fullmetalshrimp 0

Friday 12 November 2010 6:44

It must've been really awkward when you came out of the room.

OriginalPooh01 0

Monday 9 May 2011 5:27

So what? She was listening!? You know what. YDI for not checking around the house first. >:D

softball1432 0

Sunday 29 May 2011 21:29

that's why I check every room in the house before having loud phone sex..

AllTiimeLow 1

Saturday 25 June 2011 3:05

Haha. You should have went looking around the house for them. Believe me it does not take that much energy to walk a few steps. -.-'

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The Top

Today, I woke up thinking my house was on fire because I could hear crackling flames downstairs. I panicked and tripped out of bed. It was the fireplace channel I left on last night so I could wake up to a Christmas ambiance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 667

You deserved it 35 718

Today, I was kicked out of my aunt's house for being 15 minutes late for her to pick me up. She told me she doesn't want me to come home and left me in a panicked mess. My sister and brother are on her side and refuse to talk to me. I'm now couch surfing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 447

You deserved it 409

Today, I walked past a church with a bunch of people standing outside waiting for the bride and groom to walk out. When the church doors opened, I yelled congratulations as loud as I could. It was a funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 064

You deserved it 80 645

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 625

You deserved it 2 565

Today, my boyfriend is so terrified of having a baby that he won’t screw me, even though I’m on the pill and we have condoms. He gets so worked up, he usually goes soft before we get the condom on. His oral game is on point but I just want a good hard dicking, is that too much to ask? FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 189

Today, I got a call and was offered a position with a company that I really wanted to work for. I just had to wait a week to confirm that everything was good to go. Ten seconds after ending the call, they called back and said that they'd called the wrong person. The offer was for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 93