That's more than I asked for By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States Today, while my teacher was helping me with a problem, the gum he was chewing fell from his mouth and down my shirt. FML I agree, your life sucks 47 619 You deserved it 4 829 Share Tweet Share
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserts dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said, "How do you like that?" Then my mom walked in. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 948 You deserved it 159 082
Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. She had my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML I agree, your life sucks 839 You deserved it 66
Today, my housemate and I had rough passionate sex in every room of the house. Being that I'm 18 and he's 32, it was a new thing for me. I just received a call from my mother stating that they would not be paying for the baby they watched us make through their wireless cams in our house. FML I agree, your life sucks 16 412 You deserved it 5 309
Today, I rode home alone on a train. I accidentally missed my stop, but wasn't worried about it. My mom did not share my optimism and actually called the train company, saying that I was "lost" and "special". They thought she meant I was retarded. They wouldn't believe me when I said I wasn't. FML I agree, your life sucks 31 737 You deserved it 3 303
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in over a week, because I had been having weird cramps. Afterwards, I was experiencing the worst pain I’ve felt in my entire life, so we went to the ER. Turns out my cramping was from an ovarian cyst, and having sex made it rupture. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 699 You deserved it 220
Today, I called a jerk of a client who has anger issues. As he started yelling and losing his temper, I began recording the call. The phone exclaimed : "This call is now being recorded." He hung up. FML I agree, your life sucks 458 You deserved it 189
Today, after I started to use a weight tracker to keep track of how much weight I lost since I started to diet due to my horrific cholesterol levels, I was happy that I lost three and a half pounds in three days. However, my online weight tracker then gave me a warning that I'm losing weight too quickly. That's a thing? FML I agree, your life sucks 331 You deserved it 115
Today, I always wondered how my younger sister maintained a good relationship with her dad, as she knows I was horribly abused by him for several years. Now, I found out that she “doesn’t agree” with it, and thinks it was all my imagination. FML I agree, your life sucks 437 You deserved it 54
well he didnt reach and grab it did he?
use it to tape your cleavage shut