Today, I found out my two favorite heterosexual female coworkers are cheating on their partners with one another. I kinda wish someone had invited me. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found out that the coworker I’d been crushing on told me he was gay so I wouldn’t hit on him anymore. Turns out he did that so he could focus on wooing a female coworker of mine. They’re now dating. FML
Today, I learned of my girlfriend’s affair with her coworker. And by coworker, I mean my long-time friend, who we helped get a job at her work in the first place. FML
Today, I found out that the only two people I've had feelings for in years are both dating each other. FML
Today, I found out that my crush is a lesbian. Everyone knew about it. Everyone also knew that I liked her. No one told me. FML
Today, I found out my co-workers don't actually like me when they changed the hangout spot after accidentally inviting me. FML
Today, I found out that the co-worker I have been dating and falling for is the same co-worker that had been spreading rumors about me and getting me in trouble with my boss. FML
Today, my boss admitted she's having an affair. She's married to my brother. FML
Today, I found out that the coworker I refused to leave my wife for is now happily married with someone else, while I'm now divorced. FML
Today, I found out that my friends were convinced that I was gay. I have known most of them for 3 plus years, they all thought my girlfriend was a special shopping partner. I found this out while announcing my engagement. FML
Today, I found out everybody at work thinks I'm a lesbian because they thought my boyfriend was a girl. FML
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Top comments
SJKatt 15
It's super weird that you're actively erasing their obvious bisexuality with your "boo hoo women I thought were straight aren't ******* me :(" thing
MidnaLink 33
They're not obligated to invite you anyway, you horny weirdo.
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Comments (6)
MidnaLink 33
They're not obligated to invite you anyway, you horny weirdo.
Habacadavarus 12
A common sentiment I'm sure, but you certainly don't want to get caught up in that fiasco.
SJKatt 15
It's super weird that you're actively erasing their obvious bisexuality with your "boo hoo women I thought were straight aren't ******* me :(" thing
Anderling 32
If I could upvote this a dozen times I would, but have a comment instead.
RichardPencil 30
Maybe you can blackmail them into a threesome. I can't imagine anything going wrong with that plan.
kitten79TX 5
Oh for the love of all things, please don't give this idiot any bad ideas. I somehow doubt he needs any help in that area.
SirEnigM0nk 22
Pretty sure Richard was being sarcastic...hopefully.
kitten79TX 5
First of all, if they are in a sexual relationship with each other, they are not heterosexual. You do realize that heterosexual means a person is only interested in the opposite sex.... right? If a woman is attracted to women AND men, she's bisexual. Secondly, it's weird and creepy that on some level you feel entitled to be involved in a thresome with them just because they ARE bisexual. Thirdly, just because they are bisexual does NOT mean they are into threesomes at all. And fourthly, unless they specifucally stated that they are cheating on their spouses, they may not be. They could be practicing ethical non-monogomy. That means they may be in this relationship with the full knowledge and permission of their spouses. And lastly, their sex lives are in no way an FML for you, as it's none of your business, doesn't affect you in any way, and has nothing to do with you.
BurnInDemonFire 35
Since they're not interested in some creepy incel bastard joining them may I suggest you go **** yourself? Literally and figuratively. I mean they're bad for cheating on their partners, but you take the cake here, pal. Jeez...