Today, yet again I had to lie to a date about what I do for a living, because every time I tell someone the truth, that I work in private equity, they have some choice words about "people like me ruining things" and "ruining the housing prices." I feel like an evil James Bond or something. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I had to lie to my coworkers about me and some guy beating the absolute shite out of each other in a bar fight, all to avoid admitting my black eye was from my 7 year old son punching me in the face the other day. FML
Today, a coworker told me something I didn't realize was confidential, until later when my boss called me, saying someone may have shared something confidential with me, and me, not thinking so, said I don't think anyone did. We hung up, they called back and elaborated, and it dawned on me now they think I'm a liar. FML
Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML
Today, the creepy regular customer found out I was lying about having a boyfriend in order to keep him away. He now thinks this is me playing hard to get. FML
Today, my boss asked me to pick up an extra shift. I said I couldn't because I have a date. He told me I didn't need to lie and to just say no next time. FML
Today, my coworker called me a liar when I said I've been to New York. This is the same psycho who honestly expects me to believe that she and Brad Pitt have a "thing" and that he secretly communicates with her through interviews on TV. FML
Today, I got turned down by my dream job because their rival company happens to be called my exact name. I'm now known as "The Spy". FML
Today, it's job interview day. In the elevator on the way there, I overheard potential candidates talking about the boss of the company, mocking his alleged lack of credibility. Who's the boss? Me. They don't know that yet. FML
Today, my boss told me, "You oversold your skills in your job interview." I have worked in this industry for 25 years. FML
Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML
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Top comments
JuneBleeds4 20
Working in private equity is a lot like investment banking, but for smaller firms rather than banks. They're essentially vultures who focus on Venture Capital (investing in start-ups who aren't really ready to go public but need outside capital to grow), Growth Equity (companies who are successful but still need increased liquid assets to grow; Growth Equity investors look for a majority share long-term investment), and Buyouts (companies that are failing, either private or public, who need to be bought out to either improve operations or be liquidated/absorbed into similar companies). A lot of times, private equity firms are the cause of both the rise and fall of small to medium businesses and generally ruins lives all while earning huge profits for themselves.
MidnaLink 33
Can we have some context for people who don't deal with finances?
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Comments (3)
poopface82 23
Just tell people something less embarrassing like being a dancer at a dive bar.
MidnaLink 33
Can we have some context for people who don't deal with finances?
JuneBleeds4 20
Working in private equity is a lot like investment banking, but for smaller firms rather than banks. They're essentially vultures who focus on Venture Capital (investing in start-ups who aren't really ready to go public but need outside capital to grow), Growth Equity (companies who are successful but still need increased liquid assets to grow; Growth Equity investors look for a majority share long-term investment), and Buyouts (companies that are failing, either private or public, who need to be bought out to either improve operations or be liquidated/absorbed into similar companies). A lot of times, private equity firms are the cause of both the rise and fall of small to medium businesses and generally ruins lives all while earning huge profits for themselves.
Hangryko 31
Oh please, an evil James Bond wouldn't sink that low. YDI for choosing an evil line of work.