Health: Stank ass

Stank ass

By girlsgottagotoo - 26/06/2016 20:52 - United States - Covina

Today, I passed a cashier when I came into a store. Later I passed him again as I was leaving, and he asked me if I needed help finding something because I had been in the store for a while. I told him I had been browsing upstairs, but in reality, I had been in the restroom the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 627

You deserved it 1 527

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Same thing different taste

I am lost, I think

By Anonymous - 13/02/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I walked into a store, grabbed a shopping cart, and started browsing. After 15 seconds, I realized I was in the wrong store. The cashier watched as I awkwardly returned my cart and walked out like I totally meant to do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 354

By Anonymous - 16/09/2012 01:29 - United States

Today, for the first time in a week, a customer entered my store. He needed to use the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 507

You deserved it 2 378

By Anonymous - 07/09/2010 17:51 - Canada

Today, I was shopping in a store and an employee was mopping the floor. She mopped all around where I was standing then told me to wait until the floor dried to move. I had to go to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 592

You deserved it 6 445

Badass fighting talk

By Welp - 19/04/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I was caught trying to use the employee bathroom at the back of the store when an employee asked if I worked there. I responded with, “Oh what? Are you a hall monitor? That’s what I thought!” but ended up bumping into a corner and my nose started bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 1 664

By LostSoul - 19/07/2019 14:02

Today, I was at a store. I asked if I needed a key for their bathroom, and they said the door was open. I have to walk past them to go in and out of the bathroom. Thirty seconds later, they used the key and walked in on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 763

You deserved it 109

The customer is always something

By YEEYEE517 - 03/09/2019 22:00

Today, working in retail, I noticed a customer looking for an item, so I walked up to them and asked, "Is there something I can help you find?" He replied, "Did I ask for your fucking help?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 891

You deserved it 205

By Wrongtoilet - 12/07/2010 08:28 - Singapore

Today, I was at a new shopping mall. After an hour, I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Spotting one, I ran inside, locked myself in a cubicle and relieved myself. The toilet paper was out so I knocked on the cubicle beside me to ask for some. A lady's voice answered. She needed some too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 871

You deserved it 5 468

I know what I'm doing

By M…… - 06/08/2025 00:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I walked into a restroom at a restaurant, took one step inside, and realized it was the staff-only restroom. The manager was inside, staring at me like I was an alien. I just smiled and awkwardly walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 125

Lost

By Anonymous - 15/11/2025 09:00

Today, at a fancy restaurant, I walked into the restroom. After washing my hands, I looked up and noticed the urinals and the sudden presence of three very confused men. I had walked into the men’s bathroom. I pretended to check my phone like I was lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 347

Pay attention

By Anonymous - 04/07/2025 15:00 - United States - Newport

Today, I was at a busy restaurant and, in a rush, walked into the men’s restroom instead of the women’s. I was so focused on my phone that I didn’t notice the stares, or the guy at the sink giving me the confused glare. When I finally looked up and saw the urinals, I practically sprinted out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 623

ThunderLightTSV 31

Monday 27 June 2016 13:42

I can hear the shitty puns already. Great.

Rubioaf 10

Monday 27 June 2016 14:15

doesn't sound too bad op, don't overthink it

Comments

BestOrginalName 22

Monday 27 June 2016 14:23

What a shitty situati-No! I must resist the urge, but the FML deities are forcing my fingers to post this crappy comment! What a shitty situation, OP! Sorry, y'all. Down vote me into oblivion, FML community. :)

flyingflies 36

Monday 27 June 2016 14:33

You'd think that with so make shit-related FMLs, people would tire of this pun.

Colon_Man 17

Monday 27 June 2016 16:03

You underestimate the power... of the brown side.

tigerisabelle 31

Monday 27 June 2016 16:30

It was mildly funny in 2010... but we're not in 2010 anymore. Stop trying to make it happen ... it's already happened and it's over with, done, dead

ThunderLightTSV 31

Monday 27 June 2016 22:08

Told you so. That pun was shitty and you should feel bad for letting yourself type it.

Colon_Man 17

Monday 27 June 2016 16:06

So, really, you had been browsing your downstairs.

aGMAELSTR0M 10

Monday 27 June 2016 16:33

Well, assuming it was a shopping store (clothes, etc.) where people typically do spend about an hour shopping and not some convenient store, and the cashier, of all people, commented that you were there for a while, HOW LONG COULD YOU HAVE BEEN ******** FOR? That's a whole new level of "full of shit"

writerchic85 25

Monday 27 June 2016 18:15

I think you handled it fine. No reason to go into further detail with the cashier.

moondoglou420 17

Monday 27 June 2016 19:05

Nope, just dropping a few things off..

mrBearBear 11

Monday 27 June 2016 20:12

So you used a stores bathroom? Dam how will you ever recover!? Seriously FML needs to screen these things better.

socialproduct 19

Monday 27 June 2016 20:45

"Thanks. I was just browsing, but I didn't find anything that wasn't complete shit".

Mortoli 30

Monday 27 June 2016 21:50

lol honestly i know the feelin when im at work i crap a lot. its gonna calm down with new post but this one im almost always in the can so. good times. lol

guttedbrit 26

Tuesday 28 June 2016 4:31

even though we humans do in fact go to the toilet, we continue to either deny that we've been, or pretend we haven't at all. Me included. I wouldn't worry, OP, I'm sure your secret is safe. And also there's nothing to be ashamed of! :)