Poopoo peepee, Food and Health: Spicy shit

Spicy shit

By DMStarsky - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 900

You deserved it 4 827

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Same thing different taste

Shots fired

By Its a gas - 13/06/2025 00:00 - Czechia - Prague

Today, I made a pot of chili. My wife came home, sniffed the air, and said, "You're sleeping in the guest room until you eat all that chili. You fart like a trucker and I can't sleep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 488

Healthy lifestyle goals

By Anonymous - 06/04/2023 10:00

Today, I made a healthy, delicious dinner. My girlfriend picked at it until it went cold, then stuck it in the fridge. Later, she devoured a giant bowl of sugary cereal, then complained all night that her stomach hurt. This happens a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 195

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 457

You deserved it 4 068

Nice try

By spitballer1 - 06/07/2009 16:54 - United States

Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 224

You deserved it 29 108

By StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 497

You deserved it 9 626

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 22:00

Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 992

You deserved it 296

Pure evil

By Anonymous - 07/10/2016 20:22 - Switzerland

Today, the cat climbed up to the spice shelf while I was cooking. As I looked up and told him to leave, he tipped over a chili container which coated my face with chili powder. The bloody pain in my eyes then made me knock over a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 987

You deserved it 1 177

By Coldsnap - 12/08/2011 17:25 - Sweden

Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 859

You deserved it 5 017

By halfie - 26/09/2015 05:06 - United States - Pigeon Forge

Today, while on my first ever date, I ordered a really hot curry, hoping to impress my date. "Yeah," I said smoothly, "not everyone can handle spicy food." When I took a bite, my eyes watered, my mouth burned, and I had to plead for water in between moaning like a dying baboon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 518

You deserved it 33 524

By TLJ321 - 18/05/2012 07:41

Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 616

You deserved it 58 931

bigbadtim 7

Saturday 22 October 2011 1:09

Burn, burn, burn, the burning ring of fire.

liquidSELECT 0

Saturday 22 October 2011 1:14

Your a nice guy for eating it :D your a good guy

Comments

KiddNYC1O 20

Saturday 22 October 2011 3:14

But chili's sooo good.

murphy22 6

Saturday 22 October 2011 3:24

Aw youre a sweet heart for eating her chili anyway, hope she was a sweet heart as well and got you some pepto bismal or something

luccmon 6

Saturday 22 October 2011 3:27

Tmi.

a_lenzmeier 11

Saturday 22 October 2011 6:57

Then don't read fml's. That's kind of what this is.

jaff23 11

Saturday 22 October 2011 3:29

bathe in milk that should cool you down

jackeechan 10

Saturday 22 October 2011 3:44

I now understand why in super smash bros fire comes out of your ass when you eat spicy food.

bill_lover 0

Saturday 22 October 2011 4:05

I luv how he put it undder health XDD

ih82bl8 2

Saturday 22 October 2011 4:08

Tmi... Eew

Cmcnab1997 0

Saturday 22 October 2011 4:13

Burn baby burn

asherah14 7

Saturday 22 October 2011 4:22

It takes about 7-10 hours for food to make it's way through the stomach and intestines. Sorry OP it's not the chili making your bum burn.

leadman1989 15

Saturday 22 October 2011 4:43

That SHIT burns. I feel your pain.

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I agree, your life sucks 1 192

You deserved it 161

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I agree, your life sucks 1 366

You deserved it 130