Miscellaneous: Procrastination

Procrastination

By Anonymous - 14/10/2009 17:01 - United States

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 141

You deserved it 16 744

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Same thing different taste

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 402

Faulty plumbing

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 118

Rememberance Day special

By Crappy circumstances - 11/11/2025 12:00

Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 89

Better safe than sorry

By Anonymous - 21/08/2025 23:00 - Australia

Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 86

By bglenney - 15/08/2013 09:47 - United States

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 955

You deserved it 4 192

Earthquake sneezer

By Noname - 27/01/2009 00:02 - Japan

Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 799

You deserved it 2 831

Too trusting

By Anonymous - 07/09/2023 08:02 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I tried to stifle a sneeze while on the train and instead shat myself a little bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 653

You deserved it 198

PTSD

By I have Flashbacks Now - 10/11/2016 21:15 - United States - Woonsocket

Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 428

You deserved it 913

How smelly is your piss?

By Anonymous - 08/04/2021 21:00 - Finland

Today, I peed myself in the dressing room after work when I sneezed. Someone else just walked in as I was trying to dry off my jeans with paper, and probably smelled that I had peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 830

You deserved it 159

Sweet release

By Anonymous - 14/12/2018 03:00

Today, I sneezed and shit myself in bed. It was the first time I'd ever slept at my girlfriend's house, and probably the last as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 828

You deserved it 399

chop_buster 0

Wednesday 14 October 2009 23:21

Hahaha, I'm an annoying twerp and shit.

hk_fml 9

Wednesday 14 October 2009 23:21

LOL xD the wording of this makes it even better.

Comments

Fat_British_Kid 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 3:25

I made an account just to say: I ******* loved this FML and it's brightened up my day. Thank you.

Bassplyer 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 9:03

lol 89, nice

jessalynn94 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 18:03

I laughed so hard when I first read this. I still laugh every time I read it. =]

ohmandapants 16

Saturday 17 October 2009 21:30

LMFAOOO well now, you can help to prepare others.

oh_damn_it 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 2:51

hahahahahahaha oh man did i need to read something that funny today hahaha

BFFWAWAMUCH 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 3:21

HAHAHA!!!!! Funniest thing i've heard IN MY LIFE!!!! LOL! i never even thought such a thing was possible! I can't stop laughing!

sofrigginlol 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 6:04

I WAS LITTERALLY CRYING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING! COMMENT #76, YOU CONTRIBUTED TO MY LAUGHTER A LOT! SO WHOEVER MADE THIS FML, YOU ARE A GOOD LAUGH (YOU TOO #76)!