Intimacy, Health, Sex and Embarrassing: Priapism Tuesday - FML

Priapism Tuesday

By Anonymous - 29/08/2023 04:00

Spicy

Today, I took Viagra so we could have sex at bedtime. We fell asleep afterwards, but I must've had a reaction to the Viagra as it was still erect this morning and must have been erect all night, way longer than 4 hours. I went straight to hospital as my penis was numb and pale blue. Help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 250

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Same thing different taste

Bricked up

By Anonymous - 06/12/2022 22:00

Spicy

Today, I have erectile dysfunction but have also recently gotten a girlfriend. She is very understanding but I decided to try Viagra to get things going. I had the rare reaction of a boner lasting hours that put me in hospital. I can’t win, it’s either no boner at all or a boner that tries to kill itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 260

You deserved it 195

By aaah. - 24/05/2012 05:42 - Canada - Caronport

Spicy

Today, I had to take Viagra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 216

You deserved it 7 791

Hard place

By RohnAbheek - 21/08/2011 17:36 - India

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend came over to stay the night. Before she arrived, I popped a Viagra to spice things up. She then informed me that she was on her period and didn't feel comfortable doing it. I had a headache and a massive boner all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 232

You deserved it 47 420

By ItsFunnyNow - 22/10/2009 04:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, I took my first Viagra. It worked great, but "Wally, the one-eyed wonder-weasel" would not return to "hiding". After 4 hours, I was in mortal aching pain, and went to my doctor for a shot and sedative. My wife, the doctor, and the nurse could not stifle their laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 740

You deserved it 6 772

#humblebrag

By Burst a Valve - 26/02/2017 18:00 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I learned there is such a thing as "too much sex". After a full week of having sex at least twice a day with my girlfriend, I had to go to the GP due to a painful erection and swelling. The constant sex had caused me to burst a blood vessel in my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 704

You deserved it 2 927

By unsuckable - 28/08/2015 06:13 - United States - Denver

Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 922

You deserved it 4 176

Risky business

By Sam - 07/05/2021 02:01

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend had one of her seizures during foreplay. She’s fine, but I’m not, she had my penis in her hand and while seizing she squeezed it so hard she ruptured some blood vessels on the inside. I'm now walking bowlegged and on medication to stop me getting erections that might cause more damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 242

You deserved it 147

By imsorrylove - 31/03/2010 04:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, I took pills to make sure I lasted longer with my girlfriend. Good news? It worked fine and is still working now. Bad news? We've been done for a good two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 229

You deserved it 33 155

By Silent - 03/12/2009 17:50 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 353

You deserved it 3 832

By masterfail - 04/10/2009 05:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 493

You deserved it 19 857

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 29 August 2023 21:44

Don't worry. They're not going to have to cut your dick off. It's just going to fall off all by itself.

Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Tuesday 29 August 2023 9:09

Blue penis or blue balls. FYL

Comments

Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Tuesday 29 August 2023 9:09

Blue penis or blue balls. FYL

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 29 August 2023 21:44

Don't worry. They're not going to have to cut your dick off. It's just going to fall off all by itself.

BurnInDemonFire 35

Wednesday 30 August 2023 23:43

The old lit match trick didn't work? Sorry buddy, but you're screwed. And not screwed.

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Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML

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You deserved it 1 902

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I agree, your life sucks 1 187

You deserved it 583

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I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 308

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I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 182

Today, I'm taking care of my friend's cat while he's away for a while. She's very clingy and friendly, which I don't mind… or at least, I thought I didn't mind, until I tried to go to sleep and she insisted on lying on my face. I felt bad for having to kick her out of the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 135