Miscellaneous: Peckish - FML

Peckish

By Bontempi - 19/07/2012 18:55 - France

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 642

You deserved it 42 746

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/05/2015 02:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 268

You deserved it 36 987

By Cookie - 22/12/2011 18:11 - South Africa

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 751

You deserved it 8 530

By adam - 03/02/2010 20:10 - France

Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 092

You deserved it 40 729

Sabotage!

By WTF - 12/10/2012 23:00 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 972

You deserved it 1 690

A cute one for a change

By We have fun at least - 18/01/2026 00:00

Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 498

Paperweight

By caramelkarma - 15/04/2009 19:47 - United States

Today, I woke up on my mom's couch with a wicked hangover. I made a mad dash for the toilet but felt the wave coming after two steps. I grabbed a bag of trash next to the front door and showed it no mercy. After I'd recovered and cleaned up, Mom asked if I'd seen the bag containing her Tax Materials. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 279

You deserved it 65 710

By Anonymous - 04/11/2010 23:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent two hours making a cake that I'd promised my class for weeks. I boarded the train to school, but soon dozed off. A few minutes later, I awoke with a start and noticed a chunk of the cake missing and a homeless man next to me with frosting around his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 328

You deserved it 8 543

Fight club

By just outdone - 31/12/2015 04:45 - United States - Turtle Lake

Today, I've been staying with my parents while I have time off from school. They got drunk and started an entire family fight because my dad made pizza and my mom is lactose intolerant. She insists my dad did it on purpose because, "he's an asshole and knows I can't eat cheese." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 830

You deserved it 1 390

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 642

You deserved it 34 477

Dazed and confused

By AnastasiyaNicholas - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my drunken mother woke up after having passed out and yelled at me for ditching school. It took half an hour to explain that it's 5:00, and I've already been to school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 119

You deserved it 2 093

Next

Top comments

Enslaved 36

Thursday 19 July 2012 23:08

You ate BOB!!!

mara56780 1

Thursday 19 July 2012 23:07

Yummy?

Comments

AwkwardHaole808 16

Friday 20 July 2012 11:02

At least you ate it with butter! Everything is better with butter.

apollo16 6

Friday 20 July 2012 11:15

YOU KILLED SPONGEBOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

brhodes_09 1

Friday 20 July 2012 12:23

Lmafo. Wow

belindajg 0

Friday 20 July 2012 12:58

Did anyone else read this wrong and thought it said the parents were drunk at first?

delta1987 2

Friday 20 July 2012 14:36

Hahahaha good shit!

BlackNinja787 6

Friday 20 July 2012 14:57

Were they hoping it'd soak up the alcohol?

izzypfeifer 2

Friday 20 July 2012 16:23

congratulations this is the first FML to make me laugh! xD

TheOtherAzn 2

Friday 20 July 2012 17:17

Buttery sponge ... sounds like a sex position (:

iHeartRKO 5

Friday 20 July 2012 17:55

Just had to favorite it. You know we all have done something like this

Calyx_fml 21

Friday 20 July 2012 18:16

Was it the toilet sponge?

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I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 326

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I agree, your life sucks 617

You deserved it 80