Intimacy: Party boy

Party boy

By Daemon - 27/10/2008 04:57 - France

Today, after a party, I brought a girl to the flat I share with my two best friends. While we are doing it, she asked me, "You're not afraid your friends will hear us?" The only answer that spontaneously came out of my mouth was, "Don't worry, they're used to it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 540

You deserved it 89 278

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Same thing different taste

By emkatch - 21/07/2009 19:47 - Canada

Today, I came home about two hours early from a friend's party. After I walked in and upstairs, I quickly and quietly left and went back to the party. I guess my parents decided to have a little party as well. It's called a threesome with my neighbor. They still don't know that I know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 864

You deserved it 4 374

By tsukinoie - 02/02/2014 06:33 - United States

Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he looks for a new place. He walked inside, dropped his stuff on the floor and asked me my policy on hookers. I laughed it off as a joke. Half an hour later my doorbell rang. He took my laughter as a yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 650

You deserved it 6 874

By Sofi - 21/08/2018 06:00

Today, I canceled going to a party with my sisters because I had a secret plan to have a threesome. They left for the party, but soon returned thinking it would be no fun without me. By then we were already making a lot of indecent noise. They heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 244

You deserved it 3 011

Let's get loud

By Anonymous - 14/11/2010 07:36 - Reserved

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 733

You deserved it 32 233

Sorry, what?

By butch - 13/11/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my upstairs neighbor congratulated me on keeping him up 'til dawn with my girlfriend and the chick in the apartment next to us. He doesn't know how I got them to agree to a threesome. Since I was at my folks all weekend, neither do I. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 201

You deserved it 2 409

Awkward conversation

By anon - 28/12/2019 05:00 - United States - La Puente

Today, I had to have a very difficult and awkward conversation with my best friend about her fiancé hitting on me. She seemed completely unfazed and ended up admitting that a three-way with me was actually her idea, but she didn't want to "weird me out" by asking me about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 652

You deserved it 387

Classic

By Daniel - 09/08/2021 16:01

Today, at work, I casually mentioned I was meeting some friends for dinner. My co-worker's response was, "You have friends?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 106

Nice to put a face to the screaming!

By dormlyfe - 24/09/2015 02:23 - United States - Moraga

Today, I met new people at my dorm, only to find they already knew me because they listen to my boyfriend and me have sex all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 044

You deserved it 22 937

Perfect?

By NeverGonnaGetAny - 23/02/2009 19:28 - United States

Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 805

You deserved it 24 064

Method acting

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 05:08 - United Kingdom - Frome

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 650

You deserved it 45 083

Chaith 16

Wednesday 18 March 2009 1:44

Considering this was during a one night stand, I'd say what you said wasn't far off.

MissCajun 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 20:28

lmfao thats what you get for being a man ***** :)

Comments

nerdking21 10

Thursday 3 September 2009 21:05

That's truly and utterly pathetic. Did she walk out on you without finishing?

andyman296 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 4:47

for real? You said that and she finished? I'm in middle school and even I know that that's wrong. Dick.

im_a_dinosaur 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 15:57

hahahahaha thats funnny your an idiot

ninjb 0

Friday 9 October 2009 21:20

Wow...Im sorry. Thats just completely stupid. Like #24, I'm in Middle School too.

fail_1 0

Wednesday 14 October 2009 9:08

omg exact answer i would have given... you are amazing!!!

Tarheel2147 0

Saturday 19 December 2009 18:01

how is #1 correcting #3's grammar? WTF!!

doorbellgirl 0

Thursday 24 December 2009 23:50

24 and 26 I'm in middle school 2 and OP your a dick

canadianpatsfan 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 21:14

that's what my answer would have to be aswell

ladiesman2340 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 5:00

atta boy! haha you should have said 'don't worry my roomates get the webcam video after' zing!!!!!

mynamwastakenfml 0

Sunday 28 March 2010 5:25

At least you were being honest haha

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Today, my boyfriend of 4 years complained about having to jack off for IVF. We haven't had sex in 9 months, I have to take hormone injections, and I'm jealous of his own hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 515

You deserved it 363

Today, I watched Paranormal Activity, which is known to be "the scariest film ever." After the film, I went to brush my teeth and out of the corner of my eye I saw the bathroom door closing by itself. I jumped out of my skin and stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush. It was just my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 630

You deserved it 35 506

Today, I was doing a little victory jig after finally sending out the last of the invitation cards for my wedding when I realised that I had forgotten to put the date of the event on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 865

You deserved it 23 223

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 364

You deserved it 6 336

Today, I told a guy at work about my boyfriend. His immediate response was to ask me if I was making him up. He's the third person to react this way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 234

You deserved it 3 928

Today, my husband and I left for a two-month trip. Our roommate called us after 16 hours of driving to inform us that our dog was attacked and sprayed by a skunk and had rubbed all over our stuff. He now has to get shots and be tested for rabies, and we have to toss all our furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 734

You deserved it 418

Same thing different taste

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