Miscellaneous: Oh no…

Oh no…

By Anonymous - 20/01/2013 02:55 - Canada

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 821

You deserved it 9 711

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Same thing different taste

Make it stop

By Headphones - 21/07/2009 21:38 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 694

You deserved it 5 715

Nooooooo!

By ScarredEars - 12/08/2010 12:02 - United States

Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 432

You deserved it 3 806

ur mom gay

By Anonymous - 02/05/2018 01:30

Today, I pretended to be asleep when my mom and her best friend came home because I was tired as hell and I didn't want to be around them. I was then treated to a loud conversation about my mom's first time with a woman through our paper-thin walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 326

You deserved it 737

My ears! My ears!

By Anonymous - 13/06/2019 05:15

Today, I woke up at 1:39 a.m. to my dad's phone going off, only to hear my parents having sex. It's now 2:12 a.m. and I can still hear them going at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 928

You deserved it 255

Method acting

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 05:08 - United Kingdom - Frome

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 650

You deserved it 45 083

Noise complaint

By scarred - 27/07/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 165

You deserved it 3 967

No feeling - Just conversation

By Anonymous - 22/11/2019 18:00

Today, I was touching myself under the sheets at 2:00 a.m. when my very drunk dad walked into the room. I was afraid to move my hand for fear of getting caught red-handed, so I had a 30 minute conversation with him with my fingers still inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 522

You deserved it 942

Thin walls

By xtilltheendx - 05/10/2020 20:08 - United States

Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 1 447

Cold shower

By MrAwsum - 17/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 574

You deserved it 48 757

Listening in

By Anonymous - 20/11/2012 03:19 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 551

You deserved it 17 472

SmallBean 12

Sunday 20 January 2013 9:33

well at least he had the courtesy to check if you were up or not. Next time just have that 30 second conversation with your father and you can avoid this again.

sens3sfailing 24

Sunday 20 January 2013 10:25

Why didn't I think of that? I'll just completely change the thickness of my walls with that easy do-it-yourself kit they sell online...

Comments

lechnerdy 5

Sunday 20 January 2013 11:10

You couldn't plug your ears in time? Did they have sex in your room?

vindicated21 12

Sunday 20 January 2013 11:14

That happened to me when I was in high school. Now I'm 53, and still can remember it, like it was yesterday. Sorry, op, but you can't un-hear that.

Enslaved 36

Sunday 20 January 2013 13:25

I over heard my parents too when I was younger. I asked my mom at the breakfast table the next morning, if she was okay and why she was "crying" last night? I can still remember my dad's ear to ear smirk like it happened yesterday. :P

panda_lou 11

Sunday 20 January 2013 19:23

I'm sorry you had to hear that, but imagining that in my head had me laughing so hard.

Ultimawolf25 19

Sunday 20 January 2013 11:16

I don't understand why you couldn't just have a short conversation with your dad, is he really that bad of a guy?

jem970 19

Sunday 20 January 2013 13:57

Do you ALWAYS want to talk to your parents? I do what the OP does all the time. Sometimes you just dont want to talk to people.

Ultimawolf25 19

Monday 21 January 2013 2:03

I lost my parents at a pretty young age, so I guess I just envy the fact that people can still talk to theirs and they 'pretend to be asleep'

a7x_RoCk3r 12

Monday 16 September 2013 23:42

Conversation is actually over-rated by a factor of 20 million.

Vinnie500 14

Sunday 20 January 2013 11:36

At least he didn't try and make it a threesome. Lol

Misaki18 17

Sunday 20 January 2013 12:28

The exact same thing happened to me like 2 weeks ago except I was watching anime... Some things cannot be unheard D:

vesky 4

Sunday 20 January 2013 12:32

be happy that they still have epic sex instead of bashing each other's head in thumps up for your old man. he rocks!

mbuck87 19

Sunday 20 January 2013 12:33

You couldn't plug your ears in time? Did he run back to his room already naked and erect and just dive straight into your mum?

Epikouros 31

Sunday 20 January 2013 12:57

Maybe he checked on OP in order to get an erection...

Enslaved 36

Sunday 20 January 2013 13:16

45, people make sex noises/moans during foreplay too. :P

Tavers 19

Sunday 20 January 2013 22:11

Yes, yes he did.

gigi1981 13

Sunday 20 January 2013 13:35

I'm with 44 be thankful that you have parents who still 'enjoy each others company' rather than the many very unhappily married couples out there! It's not like it's a foreign concept that parents have sex... You did come from the very same act!