Intimacy: Odd behavior

Odd behavior

By 4fucksake - 18/07/2010 23:26 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend showed me how he gives himself a semi-erection before he goes into the men's showers after training so his penis will look bigger in front of all the guys. I find it worrying that he won't have sex with me, but has no problem walking around in front of men naked with a semi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 473

You deserved it 4 711

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Same thing different taste

By dickofbrokendreams - 02/03/2015 05:14 - United States - Waynesville

Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 054

You deserved it 3 490

By bathtime - 21/12/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 975

You deserved it 4 217

Not fair

By Anonymous - 03/11/2021 17:00

Today, my boyfriend is quite capable of getting an erection. He gets one when we watch porn, when I talk dirty to him and do handjobs or blowjobs, but the moment I get naked for the main event, he goes as soft as a boiled noodle. I haven’t been properly shagged in 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 294

You deserved it 341

Fetishes come in all sizes

By unboned - 11/05/2016 17:30 - United States - Katy

Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 636

You deserved it 2 838

Sounds more like a "you" problem

By Anonymous - 04/03/2025 20:00 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, in the changing room at my gym, you'd never see my D. I'm very strategic and my towel or shirt will always block it. Today there was a dad-bod walking nude to the mirror without a towel. I saw his. There was bush of hair surrounding a pale pink little acorn. How does he have the confidence? How is he not shy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 610

By peniswoman - 14/07/2013 17:03 - United Kingdom - Paisley

Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 066

You deserved it 18 353

By anon. - 17/01/2012 23:41 - United States

Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 188

You deserved it 8 796

No kinkshaming, but…

By Anonymous - 04/12/2018 15:00 - United States - Saint Joseph

Today, I realized that my husband's preferred sexual activities not only don't require me to take off my clothes, but go much better for him when I don't. He doesn't get why this makes me self-conscious about getting naked in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 265

You deserved it 454

By Anonymous - 22/03/2013 23:21 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 433

You deserved it 19 294

Unsanitary

By Anonymous - 01/06/2020 14:00

Today, I demanded to know why my boyfriend takes so long in public toilets. He admitted his ex was such a nasty ho, she would drag him into public toilets whenever she wanted dick in public. So now every time he goes in one, he gets a boner and has to "get rid of it" before he can come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 166

You deserved it 356

Earths_Venus 25

Monday 19 July 2010 9:11

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

smokergirl420 0

Monday 19 July 2010 9:09

there's something wrong with that boy >.>

Comments

metalr82 0

Monday 19 July 2010 14:11

wow your bf has to be gay

benrlc 0

Monday 19 July 2010 14:21

He's a ****

imhowie 2

Monday 19 July 2010 14:21

That is a completely different situation. He probably doesn't believe in premarital sex and just doesn't want to seem small in front of the other guys. it's not like he's doing it because he wants one of them to have sex with him.

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 20 July 2010 3:11

hmmmmm... He doesn't believe in premarital sex, but thinks its OK to ********** himself to semi-erectness? seems a bit odd to me...

terranada 3

Monday 19 July 2010 14:37

I wanna take you to a GAY BAR!! GAY BAR! GAY BAR!!!

Quest_ 13

Monday 19 July 2010 15:14

I got something to put in you! I got something to put in you! I got SOMETHING TO PUT IN YOU At the gay bar, GAY BAR, GAY BAR

abstar 0

Monday 19 July 2010 15:44

thank goodness I was not the only one singing this song as I read this. ;)

madgirl102492 0

Monday 19 July 2010 14:46

You should go to a bar find a straight man,and send your current to a gay bar

quelsauvage 12

Monday 19 July 2010 14:50

your man is gay.

staynplay 0

Monday 19 July 2010 15:08

why does 'organizedchaos' ruin every fml post by being leaving smartass know it all comments giving a explanation for everything. takes the fun out of it.

bulldog678 0

Tuesday 20 July 2010 1:45

lol

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 20 July 2010 3:14

I'd like to point out that it's physiologically impossible for someone to "**** themselves". I don't consider the assistance of auto-erotic devices (like cars, ******, etc) to be self-*******. I've tried it, and I don't feel like I'm ******* myself at all.