Kids Not her fault nor mine

Not her fault nor mine

Shut up loser! - 02/12/2019 03:00

Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 29/03/2013 01:13 - United States - Sunnyvale

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

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Anonymous - 13/07/2014 16:04 - United States - Pompano Beach

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

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B - 18/04/2011 08:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I thought it would be funny to tickle my daughter's foot, which she hates. One bloody nose, multiple scratches and 4 toe-shaped bruises later, she's the one laughing. FML

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Ginger_Gawd - 21/01/2014 03:34 - United States - Hialeah

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

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It's not what you think

shway - - United States

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

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Fight Club Penguin

mama bear - 05/06/2020 20:00

Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML

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Teenagers…

LieutenantDimwit - 30/04/2021 18:01 - Jordan

Today, my uncle picked up a tissue box and threw it at my sister for fun. My sister got mad and yeeted the box at me. I reacted with the same action, but she lost her crap and kicked and punched me. When I reported the incident to my parents, I get berated and my sister got away with it. FML

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anon - 23/03/2015 02:24 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

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badmom101 - 16/05/2009 11:26 - Canada

Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML

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ElamentalAngel - 06/05/2009 17:04 - United Kingdom

Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML

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Hempseed 26

Thursday 11 April 2019 2:17

Preach back at him about how he should respect your daughters boundaries and tell him to stop tickling her. He wants child discipline? Discipline him.

tounces7 27

Thursday 11 April 2019 2:21

Sounds like he's the one who lacks self-control. Even a 4 year old child deserves to be respected if they want someone to stop.

mfranks19891989 10

Monday 2 December 2019 3:16

Sound like you have a very smart daughter

cdaspirit 15

Monday 2 December 2019 7:39

We stan a kickass toddler

Sinshine 28

Monday 2 December 2019 11:30

Yet another ancient FML relabeled as new...

Iamthebanzai22 21

Monday 2 December 2019 15:48

This is an old post. Does shit not happen in peoples' lives anymore?

EmDizzle2007 28

Monday 2 December 2019 20:35

I SWEAR this exact story has been posted before

spinspinsugar 12

Monday 2 December 2019 21:54

why am I having deja vu? I feel like I've read this before...

Kep Hoare 3

Monday 2 December 2019 22:35

deserved what he got

Titan_Slayer 21

Tuesday 3 December 2019 0:09

Excessive tickling especially as a surprise could also result in her peeing herself. So I'd tell him to knock it off.

Fran Rolli 8

Tuesday 3 December 2019 4:12

She should hav throat punched him

CowgirlWithHeart 15

Tuesday 3 December 2019 4:13

Good for her! No means no and stop means stop! You should be proud that she stood up for herself, that kind of assertiveness may save her in the future.