No gods, no masters musicthief - - United States - Finleyville Today, I saw my music teacher, who I considered one of my role-models, on TV. Too bad it was because she'd robbed a church. FML 24 858 1 975
Today, a customer pulled a knife on me after I informed him that we'd run out of avocados to put on his pizza. FML 52 082 3 801
Today, I had to call AAA for the fifth time in two months. When the driver got out, I instantly recognized him. It was the same guy who helped me out all the previous occasions. When he saw me, he snorted and doubled over laughing. FML 25 869 6 260
Today, I was curling my eyelashes in my bathroom and while I was counting to 5 my brother flung open my door. I jumped and ended up ripping out all my eyelashes. Now I have to wait until they grow back. FML 86 365 9 127
Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my father trimming his pubes over the bin with our kitchen scissors. FML 1 837 125
Today, my boyfriend turned out to be a moron. Although he loves anal porn, he says gay sex is revolting. His reasoning? Because guys poop out of their buttholes. Apparently women don't. FML 13 391 1 556
Today, I realised that my friend hasn't spoken to me for a week. A week ago I politely explained to her that I really don't believe in horoscopes, and asked her at the time to stop systematically using my star-sign to explain my behaviour. FML 28 120 4 774
Well she won't be teaching you again very soon.
She ALLEGEDLY robbed a church.