Intimacy, Tattoos Health New kink unlocked

New kink unlocked

sausages - 17/01/2014 20:56 - Macedonia - Skopje

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

For life

thats_not_good - 28/05/2009 18:15 - United States

Today, I was getting my first tattoo done. My parents told me it was a bad idea. My friends' parents told me it was a bad idea. I told them that people get tattoos done all the time and nothing goes wrong. Fifty minutes into the tattoo on my back, the artist said, "Oh shit, shit, shit. We can fix this." FML

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UnluckyInk - 18/02/2013 08:50 - United States - Manlius

Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML

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Spooked

thatescalatedquickly - 07/11/2013 08:52 - United States - Collierville

Today, I was having sex for the first time with a girl who wanted to be friends with benefits. Halfway through sex she noticed that I had the same tattoo as her brother, and had a full-on panic attack that lasted half-an-hour. FML

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Anonymous - 08/01/2010 11:48 - United States

Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML

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Buggga - 22/08/2009 09:07 - Australia

Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML

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Anonymous - 17/04/2009 14:14 - United States

Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML

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Inked

damnit - - Australia

Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off, only to learn that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML

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anon - 08/03/2009 08:47 - United States

Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a "talk." So now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML

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Memento

Anonymous - 20/06/2023 03:00

Today, my quite squeamish girlfriend came with me to get my latest tattoo. She saw a few drops of blood, screamed in the tattooist's ear, and completely fucked up part of the outline. She had to alter the tattoo drastically to cover up the mess and now it just looks bad. FML

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Anonymous - 16/01/2011 10:48 - Canada

Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML

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anonymous_kenie 7

Saturday 18 January 2014 1:38

Hey sometimes life is hard

bloodierframe30 16

Saturday 18 January 2014 1:38

Wow. I'll call that a 'Hard' time

KacyA93 7

Sunday 19 January 2014 7:42

I'm sure they've seen it all before. I have a tattoo on my hip, and it hurt like heck, but I didn't cry. I would get another one.

beyonds 10

Sunday 19 January 2014 8:15

Wow such a hard time

kaytasha 18

Sunday 19 January 2014 11:22

I see you in the nearest future with about a hundred tats all over your body!

anna123456123456 7

Sunday 19 January 2014 15:39

You should try BDSM, maybe you have a thing for pain

johnpaisley 6

Sunday 19 January 2014 20:17

I can't say he deserves it it's involuntary

luminis12 23

Monday 20 January 2014 21:05

You're the man OP

Pauline96_fml 20

Tuesday 21 January 2014 15:59

I'm pretty sure that's considered being a masochist

keke2011 6

Wednesday 22 January 2014 5:55

Guess yu like pain

HatemyLife32 15

Saturday 25 January 2014 0:46

Neat!!

Zazix_fml 6

Saturday 25 January 2014 21:43

It seems like life isn't the hasrdest thing at all

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I got locked in an old woman's garage for an hour when she forgot I was looking at the car for sale. When I got home, I told my mom and jokingly said, "First time I have been kidnapped!" Without hesitation she said, "Well, that makes it the third time." I had no idea. FML

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Today, my friend sent me a bumper sticker that said, "Do you know that gullible said slowly sounds like 'green bears'?" I spent quite a few minutes trying to get gullible to sound like green bears until I realized that it didn't. FML

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Today, my mother mentioned she thought I was Unit 11, and not the correct Unit 1, in my building. I then remembered my last anonymous Valentine’s Day card was addressed to me, but at Unit 11. So my “Secret Admirer” of many years is actually my mother taking pity on me. FML

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Today, I was finishing up an internship so while driving past the other interns I said, "Bye losers!" as a joke. It turns out that the CEO was with them and fully heard me yell that. FML

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Today, while working in a kids' shop, I absent-mindedly called a small person with his mum a little man. I then hear a deep man's voice say "I'm not a little man." FML

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Today, it was my second day at my new job. The bathrooms have urinals, and I usually get bladder shy while using them, but I thought, "When in Rome…" That's when my manager came in, stood at the urinal next to mine, dropped his pants and boxers around his ankles, and started talking about sports. FML

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