Health, Parenting, Sex Intimacy Misery loves company

Misery loves company

Anonymous - 03/10/2011 21:41 - United Kingdom

Today, my 20 year-old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

ED FML

Anonymous - 22/04/2011 02:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to console my drunk dad over his girlfriend breaking up with him. When he said, "You know why we broke up don't you?" I replied, "Yeah, you were fighting a lot, right?" Wrong. I then had to explain to him that his erectile dysfunction wasn't something to be embarrassed about. FML

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Adulting

FailedMommy - 24/02/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I found out my 20 year-old daughter has a 46 year-old boyfriend. She met him at her job. When I objected, she told me that I can’t tell her “heart” what to do because she’s “grown” and “in love.” I had to teach her how to wash and she still leaves dirty pads on the floor, but sure, she’s “in love.” FML

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You what?

unknown - 02/11/2013 21:10 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

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aprouddaddy - 04/12/2014 23:46 - France - Paris

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

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Fixer upper

failure - 29/10/2025 15:00

Today, my successful, attractive daughter gave me the "Daddy I can fix him" speech about her boyfriend. He brings in no money, exclusively wears old ratty T-shirts and sweats, and always stinks of BO and cheap beer. I have failed. FML

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Reminder

dad - 29/06/2009 16:38 - United States

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back into the house, screaming, "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

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Don't worry dad

- 02/02/2020 18:00

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

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Parental disapproval

Anonymous - 31/10/2023 16:00

Today, my daughter gave me the “but daddy I love him” speech when she turned up to a family event with her boyfriend, who was at least 20 years older than her, was visibly intoxicated, stank of body odour and cigarettes, then tried to flirt with my wife. FML

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costcocondoms - 23/07/2009 05:23 - Mexico

Today, I was shopping at Costco for a romantic evening with my girlfriend, I bought some flowers, dinner, and a super pack of condoms, At the register behind me, I heard somebody say, "Good thing my daughter has a responsible boyfriend." It was my girlfriend's father. FML

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Oversharing

Anonymous - 12/09/2020 02:03

Today, my daughter admitted she struggles to keep a boyfriend because as soon as she shares with them her kink of fucking guys with strap-ons and occasionally inserting other items into them, they flee. As a father, this was way more info about my daughter's sex life than I can handle. FML

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missyj0 12

Tuesday 4 October 2011 1:39

Am I the only one that finds it odd to talk to your dad about your boyfriends penis? I mean it's great you have such a tight knit family, but I don't think I'd want my dad knowing about my boyfriend's package.

FatMan23 10

Tuesday 4 October 2011 1:36

Awkward.

HomeAl0ne 20

Tuesday 4 October 2011 2:14

Try her to try nicking out to get some take away. That arouses some guys to the point where they have to start masturbating.

CADMAN82 1

Tuesday 4 October 2011 2:47

Umm say that again, in English this time.

tiarrae 10

Tuesday 4 October 2011 3:40

I believe he's referring to another FML.

emmanizzer 6

Tuesday 4 October 2011 2:14

Thos really isn't that bad. If you guys are close enough to talk about her boyfriend's ED, then I think you're close enough to even remotely mention yours.

castrosabeast 7

Tuesday 4 October 2011 2:31

Nothing to be ashamed of man. You're just getting old.

perdix 29

Tuesday 4 October 2011 2:34

Your wife is right. At this point, what's more important for your daughter to think: A) You have credibility on the topic of limp-dickedness, or B) Your **** can get reliably rock hard at the drop of a hat?

rawrkittyrawr 6

Tuesday 4 October 2011 3:18

Why not both?

perdix 29

Tuesday 4 October 2011 3:57

They can't be both because B) has the word "reliably" in it. If Dad has the experience Mom brags about, his rock hard **** was having problems with reliability.