Me at lunchtime By Lewis - 12/12/2018 00:30 Why have I to be polite? I agree, your life sucks 266 You deserved it 64 Share Tweet Share
Today, an ultrasound tech complimented me on my "exceptionally full bladder." That's probably the best compliment I've received this week. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 130 You deserved it 2 395
Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML I agree, your life sucks 25 207 You deserved it 4 790
Today, I untied the rope that was tied to my dog's collar because it was wrapped around the tree choking him. He immediately ran off down the street. I had to chase him barefoot in my boxers for 20 minutes till he got tired. FML I agree, your life sucks 24 535 You deserved it 9 562
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 18 898 You deserved it 105 048
Today, I worked up the courage to contact my daughter, who cut ties with me four years ago when I outed her girlfriend by accident, to see if she's still mad at me and if we could reconnect. She informed me that once I die, she plans to cremate me and flush my ashes down a McDonald's toilet. So… still mad, then. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 142 You deserved it 406
Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML I agree, your life sucks 469 You deserved it 104