Me and my responsibilities By Lewis - 19/12/2018 19:00 - France - Paris I'll do it tomorrow I agree, your life sucks 245 You deserved it 63 Share Tweet Share
Today, while working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work and annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in a wheelchair opened the door. FML I agree, your life sucks 20 209 You deserved it 274 633
Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML I agree, your life sucks 452 You deserved it 48
Today, I tapped my sister on her shoulder to get her attention. I guess I was too close to her neck, which is where she is most ticklish, and ended up in the emergency room with a broken nose after she elbowed me in the face. I was just trying to repay her the $10 I borrowed from her. FML I agree, your life sucks 22 472 You deserved it 2 057
Today, my two managers, both over 30, were arguing over whether or not butter is a sauce. FML I agree, your life sucks 28 848 You deserved it 2 908
Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML I agree, your life sucks 9 125 You deserved it 65 103
Today, I had to take my alcoholic wife's e-bike away from her that I just got two months ago when she was sober and starting a new job. With in one week she was buying vodka and getting drunk again. When I went home for lunch, I found she tried to cut the chain I put around it with a circular saw used for wood. FML. I agree, your life sucks 827 You deserved it 134
Today, I finished the rather expensive Arabic language course I have been taking for about 6 months. I still can't hold a conversation, but I can now say, "May Allah give you a headache and you are stuck in Beirut's traffic for two hours." FML I agree, your life sucks 545 You deserved it 167
Today, our boss offered use of the restaurant for free for my 50th. It went well but afterward he asked us to clean up, then started pulling all the deep-cleaning equipment out of storage, saying, “Might as well while you’re all here.” The cleaning took longer than the party. Bastard. FML I agree, your life sucks 622 You deserved it 119