Joe Bidet By userrrrr - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 455 You deserved it 3 839 Share Tweet Share
Today, my neighbour from across the road phoned me at work telling me there was a fire engine outside my house and a lot of smoke. I drove home in a panic, smashing a rear light on a post and getting flashed by a speed camera. It wasn't my house. The firemen were putting out a bonfire next door. FML I agree, your life sucks 28 883 You deserved it 6 636
Today, I was awoken by the sound of my dorm roommate having sex three feet from me. He was sober, knew I was there, and has a deployed military girlfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 534 You deserved it 241
Today, I found out my grandma sleeps in the nude. I witnessed her running naked from her bedroom to the bathroom, because she "didn't have enough time" to put on her robe. I need to get my own place. FML I agree, your life sucks 21 785 You deserved it 6 871
Today, my old highschool math teacher called me, asking me to please stop calling him at 2AM every weekend. Turns out my best friend uses my cellphone to call his number every time she's drunk, and declares her eternal love to him. FML I agree, your life sucks 38 410 You deserved it 4 378
Today, I took my 15 year old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML I agree, your life sucks 8 373 You deserved it 58 011
Today, I blacked out going up a roller coaster. Instead of helping me, my friend took pictures of my face and posted them on Facebook. FML I agree, your life sucks 35 326 You deserved it 7 418
There's a keeper!
Are you sure she wasn't joking... i mean... come on... who does that?