Joe Bidet By userrrrr - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 457 You deserved it 3 841 Share Tweet Share
Today, two people came up to me at school, asking if I'd sell them some of my Adderall. I only just transferred here and have never mentioned my ADHD or the Adderall I take for it to anyone. FML I agree, your life sucks 13 494 You deserved it 955
Today, I slept through my alarm because it was drowned out by humming. My humming, in my sleep. Even my body is against me waking up on time. FML I agree, your life sucks 27 922 You deserved it 2 945
Today, I applied for a passport. I was told the first set of photos I took were unusable because my face, particularly my chin, didn't fit inside the designated area for your face in the picture. My chin did fit in the frame, my double chin however, did not. FML I agree, your life sucks 18 310 You deserved it 43 690
Today, I was drinking at the local pub and started talking to a really cute guy. I bent down to pick up my bag and the second I did, I felt like I was going to throw up. I clamped my mouth shut in the vain hope that I could block it but as I stood back up, vomit sprayed out through my nose. FML I agree, your life sucks 47 540 You deserved it 12 496
Today, I was fired from my job for sexual harassment. I was shopping after work, and I had to get my female manager to give me a package of extra-large condoms from the lockbox. I could not convince her that I was not flirting, and she took it to HR. FML I agree, your life sucks 4 167 You deserved it 717
Today, I went on a coffee date with a new girl. It was over less than a minute in, when I ordered a black coffee. She lectured me about how I "obviously" have a "seriously fragile ego." I just like black coffee. FML I agree, your life sucks 567 You deserved it 71
There's a keeper!
Are you sure she wasn't joking... i mean... come on... who does that?