Sex, Cheating Intimacy It's not a competition, but still… - FML

It's not a competition, but still…

Shooter71 - 16/10/2010 04:09 - France

Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 15/06/2014 19:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML

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rj - 12/05/2012 14:42 - United States - Goddard

Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML

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Ace of Spades

Simon Edhouse - 13/09/2021 09:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my wife has initiated sex less than five times in the 18 years we've been married. If I don't mention it, then she doesn't have to bother. FML

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No kidding

Anonymous - 09/07/2021 22:01

Today, I congratulated my best mate and his wife on their third pregnancy in three years. It then dawned on me that they've had sex more times in three years of marriage than I have had in six years of mine. FML

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Time flies

Anonymous - 06/07/2022 22:00

Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML

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Dead bed

ohyey - 29/01/2011 01:50 - Norway

Today, I discovered that my wife isn't cheating on me after all, as I'd feared. We just don't have sex anymore. FML

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Health kick

Anonymous - 05/02/2022 00:01

Today, after my wife set a new rule to improve my health, one sex session for every three visits to the gym, which has greatly improved our sex life for two months, and I've never been fitter, but now she complains I'm not keeping her company on the couch anymore. FML

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rawdoglyfe69 - 17/04/2013 06:14 - United States - Helena

Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML

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supapimpin - 25/09/2012 15:09 - United States

Today, my wife of four years revealed to me that she once had sex with six men at once back in college. Apparently she still fantasizes about it when we have sex. FML

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So frustrating!

Marvin-jones - 02/03/2023 02:00

Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML

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sapm90 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 12:32

wife or ex?

FFML_314 11

Saturday 16 October 2010 12:21

Meet Bob. Bob is a hermaphroditic alcoholic who is unhappy about his penis size. Take Bob's advice. Bob is smiling.

GWOTVET 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 22:24

I hope you are not the forgiving type

stevenmx86 7

Saturday 16 October 2010 22:35

Lmao 25, your comment literally made me lol

nmillamane 0

Sunday 17 October 2010 2:57

maybe that explains why you havent been gettin any. shoulda known.

RedPillSucks 31

Sunday 17 October 2010 3:02

I hope you've only been married for a couple of weeks.

RedPillSucks 31

Sunday 17 October 2010 3:06

Maybe your wife should be married to mr. blue balls in the next FML.

DarDar1 0

Sunday 17 October 2010 4:32

u shoul leave her a**

UpYoursLiar 1

Sunday 17 October 2010 20:33

All the people picking "you totally deserve it" for this one need to go choke on a dick. Seriously, I thought YouTube was bad. Every idiot on this site has a Hater-Aid IV in their arm.

nerdsgetmehot 22

Monday 18 October 2010 7:55

Way to generalize. :P Not everyone on this site is an idiot, nor is everyone on YouTube.

ChiefLancaster 0

Monday 18 October 2010 12:55

Sounds like you married my ex,,, she was a super **** too... My Advise, get a good lawyer,, and get the **** OUT

deedvo 0

Thursday 21 October 2010 1:57

maybe you shoulda been doin what the other guy was?

vampyregod 0

Thursday 21 October 2010 20:36

that sucks

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

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Today, I told my boyfriend, "We need to talk." He said, "I know". So we met after school, and he said he was OK with me breaking up with him, that he wasn't that into me either. He said all that before I could tell him that my parents wanted to meet him. FML

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Today, I sneezed while my ID photo was being taken. I look like a total moron in it. The photographer refused to retake the photo because I "clearly" faked the sneeze just to be funny. FML

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Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML

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Today, trying to be romantic, I started giving my boyfriend a neck massage. He gave me a weirded-out look, removed my hand, called me creep, and wouldn't let me touch him for the rest of the day. FML

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Today, I saw a ridiculously hot guy dining with his family. I decided not to flirt with him with his parents around but to ask his sister (who went to the restroom) to give him my phone number. When I came back, I saw her pointing a finger at me, and the whole family turning around and staring. FML

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