Health: It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again...

It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again...

By Anonymous - 14/06/2018 20:30

Today, after showering and moisturising, I turned my fan on to max blast. I got covered in clumps of dust, which I had to take another shower to remove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 877

You deserved it 1 033

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Same thing different taste

By Carmen - 26/02/2011 13:57 - United States

Today, I painted an area I had carefully sanded, cleaned, and taped off. I pulled a fan out of the closet to help dry it faster. I turned the fan on, and a million dust particles flew off onto the wet paint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 837

You deserved it 31 923

By LXA429 - 12/03/2010 07:35 - United States

Today, I went to the tanning bed. I laid down in the bed and turned it on and the fan started blowing. There was a terrible smell and I thought it was the person before me. Then I realized it was just the fan blowing my sweaty feet towards my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 882

You deserved it 32 437

Drying times

By helplesssssss - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took a shower in a beach house we're renting for the week. Once I get out, I realize the house doesn't supply towels, my entire family was outside in the front yard, my phone was upstairs, and there are no blinds. I stood under a ceiling fan naked for 20 minutes trying to dry off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 406

You deserved it 15 345

By Anonymous - 17/05/2012 21:54 - United States - Spring

Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 351

You deserved it 2 193

By Anonymous - 11/07/2014 17:45 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 683

You deserved it 18 327

Bad start to the day

By Concussed - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 048

You deserved it 6 139

BO Central

By jess - 16/12/2020 06:02 - United States - Denver

Today, I was loudly asked if I'd rubbed poop all over myself this morning. I shower three times a day, brush my teeth for 10 minutes twice a day, and wear copious amounts of antiperspirant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 694

You deserved it 1 726

Slicy slicy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I was getting ready for a date, so to avoid stinky pits, I went to put some deodorant on. However, when I raised my arm to apply it, I almost sliced my hand off when I raised it right into the ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 641

You deserved it 985

By lateralligator - 12/12/2014 16:35 - Canada - Whitchurch-stouffville

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 008

You deserved it 4 613

Snow day

By Chyna girl - 19/09/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I pulled my clothes out of the dryer and realized I had washed an entire pack of tissues with them. Every single piece of clothing was covered in what looked like tiny snowflakes. I now look like I’ve been rolling around in dandruff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 160

TyrionLannister 17

Thursday 14 June 2018 20:33

Interesting technique.

openawhole00 6

Friday 15 June 2018 2:53

and to think, somebody is stealing a 2 month olds piggy bank to get the spa treatment you got for free

Comments

TyrionLannister 17

Thursday 14 June 2018 20:33

Interesting technique.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 14 June 2018 21:27

Sounds like the shit hit the fan ... and then you.

Glowworm56 26

Thursday 14 June 2018 21:30

Ooh, you had a dust bath afterwards. I heard those are marvelous if you're a chinchilla.

Glowworm56 26

Thursday 14 June 2018 21:30

Ooh, you had a dust bath afterwards. I heard those are marvelous if you're a chinchilla.

bluhbluhbluh 14

Thursday 14 June 2018 21:49

Instant mud mask? love it.

PenguinPal3017 19

Friday 15 June 2018 2:30

Shower, moisturize, repeat.

openawhole00 6

Friday 15 June 2018 2:53

and to think, somebody is stealing a 2 month olds piggy bank to get the spa treatment you got for free

weeping_willow 25

Friday 15 June 2018 5:22

At least you didn’t sit down in urine!

Lobby_Bee 17

Friday 15 June 2018 6:01

Those help exfoliate your body.

Davros 12

Friday 15 June 2018 7:43

Sounds like you need to scrub more than just your ass

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I agree, your life sucks 20 294

You deserved it 1 959

Today, I was let go from an unpaid internship. The reasons cited was that I seemed unhappy at work. No, that's just my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 915

You deserved it 2 009

Today, as I tried to get off the bus, my bag and the hand holding it got stuck between the exit doors. I dropped the bag in panic, but the driver wouldn't let me off until we got to the next stop. I had to walk all the way back to get my bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 601

You deserved it 3 146

Today, my partner was driving. We were coming up to a sharp bend up a hill when suddenly a girl and a boy came speeding down the hill on a scooter. My partner stopped well before, but they fell off the kerb. We got out to check they were OK. The girl blamed us and kicked me in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 104

Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 419

You deserved it 3 531

Today, I woke up with a stinky smell piercing my nose. Yesterday there was a party at my boss’s house, where I got super drunk and passed out. When I regained consciousness, I realized my panties were wet, my pants were wet, and, of course, the bed was wet. I’m 21 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 1 381