Pranks, Parents, Injury, Dad jokes and Health: Headshot

Headshot

By suhleedah18 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was working on my computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eyepatch in a couple of days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 370

You deserved it 2 748

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Same thing different taste

Bat out of hell

By my dad is blind as shit - 03/02/2023 17:00 - United States

Today, my dad asked to borrow my glasses to look for his glasses. He then took them off because they were extremely tight on his head, and gave them back to me. Then he turned around and walked into a wall. I sure hope my eyes don't get that bad, although they probably will by the time I'm 40. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 152

By failedmusician - 03/06/2009 10:06 - New Zealand

Today, my band went to play a set for the first time. I'm the drummer. All was going well, and then before our first song I threw the sticks in the air, went to catch them, and one hit me right in the eye. I couldn't continue playing. Now I have to wear an eyepatch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 717

You deserved it 59 076

By Anonymous - 10/12/2010 21:59 - New Zealand

Today, my dad came up behind me with a pair of scissors, and pretended to snip away at my hair. I was sure he was joking, so I just sat there and didn't react. Later, I felt the back of my head and looked at my hand. Suffice it to say, I now have a large bald patch on the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 220

You deserved it 6 727

The pirate look

By Anonymous - 13/11/2008 03:01 - France

Today, I scratched my cornea and have to wear a large bandage covering my eye. I'm off today, but I'll probably have to wear it to school tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 073

You deserved it 5 979

Badass

By Jim - 28/10/2025 22:00

Today, I saw a gun on my dad's bedside table. I knew it wasn't real, so I picked it up and posed like a badass. Then I shot a hole in their bedroom TV, blew out my eardrums, and my mom flew in and started screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 1 084

By zoearcu - 17/04/2011 18:32 - United States

Today, my dad decided to wake me up by opening the shades and having the sun shine on my face. When he pulled them up, the metal holder on top broke off and fell on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 898

You deserved it 3 524

By ke - 29/01/2010 05:10 - United States

Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 860

You deserved it 30 889

Headshot

By Anonymous - 26/07/2021 14:01

Today, I was putting on my sweatpants and accidentally stepped on the elastic drawstring. I moved my foot. The string snapped upward with great speed and hit me in my open eye. My eyeball is not happy with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 125

By huwauw - 17/09/2010 20:33 - United States

Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 000

You deserved it 7 338

By blindedbyOCD - 03/09/2018 01:30

Today, I accidentally poked myself in the left eye. As I sat there in pain, my 9-year-old nephew, who we think has OCD, decided to help out by poking me in the right eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 967

You deserved it 271

saIty 17

Monday 19 December 2011 12:05

The names Bond... Rubber man Bond...

imustbeinsane 2

Monday 19 December 2011 12:12

Now you have to make him look like a pirate too! Cut off his hand

Comments

Pentium_4 27

Monday 19 December 2011 12:29

At least you were on the computer so you could post this FML as soon as possible

PresAgent 23

Monday 19 December 2011 12:31

That's a hell of a shot... FYL OP, eye injuries aren't any fun. I'm sure your dad didn't mean to hit you in the eye, so don't be too mad at him.

BradyT918 9

Monday 19 December 2011 12:59

Gotta be careful. You can put an eye out with one of those darn rubber bands.

HazingNight 4

Monday 19 December 2011 20:20

Clever

audioskater2 4

Monday 19 December 2011 13:17

Wow that's horrible D:

graham11 14

Monday 19 December 2011 15:25

19- it's an FML. Thank you captain obvious.

Wolvy_fml 3

Monday 19 December 2011 13:17

On top of mount smokey, All covered in sand, I killed my poor daughter, With a green rubber band.

bennn89 5

Monday 19 December 2011 16:08

Lmao

Stoneyyay 5

Monday 19 December 2011 13:30

aaaarrrrggghhh, are u okay? lol

foxmatrix15 8

Monday 19 December 2011 13:35

Show him ur doctors bill receipt the complain to him how much ur injury costs and make him feel bad

crazyrn 6

Monday 19 December 2011 14:54

Feel bad? I'd make him pay it!

rubberduckie94 13

Monday 19 December 2011 13:49

it could have been worse, you could have been performing with a switchblade.

rubberduckie94 13

Monday 19 December 2011 13:52

kids today with there fancy health insurance, going to the doctor everytime something flies in there eye. back in my day we got injured we just kept on working even if a bear ate our legs off....and we liked it.

THE_A_TEEN 27

Monday 19 December 2011 15:19

Today we have newer medical knowlage than yesteryear. Meaning half the crap that seemed harmless are actually harmful. ...and really, no one wants to be blind.