Today, my toddler realised that my pregnancy means I can't move easily anymore. He celebrated his freedom by doing everything he's not allowed to, and staying just outside my reach at all times. He loves his new game, and it looks like he's not going to stop anytime soon. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my one-year-old son locked me out of the house. I had no spare key and both him and my 4-month-old decided that was the perfect time to scream bloody murder. FML
Today, I sadly woke to a realization: Even on Thanksgiving and my baby girl's birthday, their dad's idea of a family day is constantly sitting there "trying to feel less sick" and just ignore us all, or as he says it, "time is all out" and playing Pokemon GO. Awesome. If I say anything, he threatens to leave. FML
Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML
Today, my toddler thought it would be funny to hide my car keys. After searching for hours, I found them in his toy box. FML
Today, my toddler threw a screaming, rampaging fit, because I ate the last chocolate mousse from the fridge. Did I forget to mention said toddler is actually my 52 year old dad? FML
Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
Today, the only way my newborn sleeps is if I dance around with him strapped to me. Six hours and counting. FML
Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML
Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML
Today, a funny smelling liquid was sprayed all over the computer. Last week, I told my fully pottytrained but extremely reluctant toddler that he couldn't play Barney games until he used the big boy toilet. A 4 year old's revenge really sucks. FML
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Top comments
GhostFox 33
You could try the "ignore the bad behavior" thing to see if he get bored, or start taking away his toys one by one every time he does something he isn't supposed to. If you do the second one, tell him that's the rule. Don't give them back until he does chores to earn them back.
TabooSushi 24
Sounds like it's time to start taking toys and movies and all his other favorite things away until he learns that he is not going to get away with that just because you can't physically stop him.
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Comments (31)
cchamberlin1 13
My mom just always kept a choncla near by. Couldn't smack me with it, but throwing it at my head worked pretty efficiently too
Amy78_fml 11
I had the same problem with my 6 year old. I resorted to carrying a fly swatter around. It helped tremendously.
Funny_fiend 2
that boy is going places
Hippo_Holiday 19
As the reboot ben 10 once said, "Time to get to work"
ZDRANO 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
beat his ass
niccotaglia 17
Just take away all his toys, movies, his phone and only give them back if he does chores
BeardedLondoner 24
Just slap him on the back of the leg when you get him. Explain why he got slapped and He'll quickly learn not to act like that, and hopefully won't grow up to be an entitled little shit. If you allow him to walk all over you now, he will for the rest of your life.
sharond23 10
you sound like an awful parent with no control over your brat kid
J15237 25
Kids are so mean some times. Since this post is old that means now you have a mean little 4 year old and a mean little 2 year old. I feel bad for you.