Health: Growing old sucks

Growing old sucks

By Anonymous - 03/11/2018 14:00

Today, I woke up from celebrating my 29th birthday. I guess it's true that tolerance drops quickly as you age, because I stayed in and only drank a few beers with my husband and spent the entire day retching so hard I puked up blood. My partying days are definitely over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 480

You deserved it 421

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anna - 28/03/2012 01:08 - United States

Today, it's my twenty first birthday. My biggest birthday surprise was discovering that I'm alcohol intolerant, by vomiting my first beer all over my boyfriend's mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 751

You deserved it 4 669

By Jigll - 13/10/2008 08:26

Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 661

You deserved it 76 951

By ForeverAlone - 16/04/2011 00:52 - United Kingdom

Today, after watching over my drunken mother all last night to make sure she didn't choke on her own vomit, I came to the conclusion that at the age of 53, she's more of a party animal than I ever will be. I'm a 22 year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 972

You deserved it 5 421

The hangover, part 46

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 04:00

Today, it’s my birthday. I woke up with a raging hangover and my house being completely trashed from the party I didn’t really want, and can barely even remember, since I got so drunk from the nerves of having to host it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 1 005

By gingerbread - 18/12/2017 18:00 - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 001

You deserved it 3 738

It's the thought that counts

By Not a day over 35 - 18/06/2013 13:06 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 699

You deserved it 5 835

Wild

By Anonymous - 25/01/2022 08:01

Today, I intended to get home early. Instead, I got too drunk, threw up, fell asleep on the train, and had to pay a $120 for a taxi fare. Happy 30th birthday to me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 1 488

The curse

By Ahh - 14/08/2020 23:02

Today, as usual, my period cramps got go bad that I can't eat or drink without taking a pain killer, and end up puking and passing out if I take a pain killer before I eat. Here's to 30 smooth years yet to come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 374

You deserved it 132

By Chase - 15/05/2017 18:00

Today, I turned 21 and had a huge party because I could finally drink legally. Got arrested for public intoxication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 336

You deserved it 6 430

By Nick M - 19/12/2016 17:49

Today, my 18th birthday, I woke up vomiting with a temperature of 104 degrees. After I settled back in bed with some water, my mom said, "This is how you're supposed to feel on your 21st birthday, not your 18th." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 275

You deserved it 761

interesting33 36

Friday 19 October 2018 18:20

I'm not sure you should be picking up blood... maybe talk to the doctor?

alligatorteef 0

Saturday 3 November 2018 18:52

you ABSOLUTELY should go to a doctor. maybe even the ER. you should never be vomiting up blood or retching so hard it makes you bleed, after drinking or not.

Comments

interesting33 36

Friday 19 October 2018 18:20

I'm not sure you should be picking up blood... maybe talk to the doctor?

BurnInDemonFire 35

Friday 19 October 2018 19:24

I'll take 'Shit I did to be popular, but it massively backfired' for $500, Alex.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 3 November 2018 16:50

Which “29th” birthday is this for you?

BurnInDemonFire 35

Saturday 3 November 2018 17:30

How many 29th birthdays do you need to celebrate before one sip of rosé makes you start talking to your spleen? I'd say it was that many.

bluhbluhbluh 14

Saturday 3 November 2018 16:51

is it 29th or 92nd though?

alligatorteef 0

Saturday 3 November 2018 18:52

you ABSOLUTELY should go to a doctor. maybe even the ER. you should never be vomiting up blood or retching so hard it makes you bleed, after drinking or not.

hotchickennugget 9

Saturday 3 November 2018 19:05

Like some of the others are saying - DEFINITELY go to a doctor or even urgent care. Like, NOW. You should never be vomiting up blood, no matter how much you had to drink or how much you're puking. You may have torn vessels in your throat from the force of the vomiting. God forbid it's anything worse.