Health, Illness Poopoo peepee Go to a doctor - FML

Go to a doctor

norelaxtime - 20/04/2021 08:00 - United States - Lexington

Today, I spent all day on the toilet trying to pee and when I did, very little would come out. I would stand up, sit on the couch then go back to the toilet. I have been going to the bathroom around 30 times, including last night trying to fall asleep. Worst day. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

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Ewwwwwww

Anonymous - 23/02/2015 17:56 - United States

Today, I'm sick with a stomach flu. For the last 5 hours, I've been going back and forth from the couch to the bathroom. Each time I get into the bathroom, I have to make a choice of whether to sit on the toilet or kneel by it. Each time I have to clean up the other mess. FML

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Anonymous - 14/05/2012 03:14 - United States

Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML

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Tanner - 07/04/2012 02:26 - United States - Salem

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

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Slid right out

Tabby Rosas - 21/02/2021 21:30

Today, after 8 days of being on a medication that makes it hard to go to the bathroom and no luck taking laxatives and drinking coffee and apple juice, I finally got to go. Too bad I was at my desk at work when it happened. I washed out my pants in the bathroom and got to sit in wet pants for 4 hours. FML

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slaughterteddy - 20/07/2016 23:23 - United States

Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML

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Sophie's choice

Anonymous - 26/09/2018 23:00 - United States - Perrysburg

Today, I got random constipation followed by diarrhea. It's 1:30am and my sleeping medication is making me fall asleep, but every time I try to get off the toilet I get another diarrhea spasm. Either I fall asleep on the toilet or shit myself in my sleep. FML

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Ring of fire

Anonymous - 18/05/2022 16:00 - South Africa

Today, I had bad diarrhea. I went to the toilet seven times while my cousins came to spend time with me. I spent more time in the toilet than I did with them. Once they'd left, I went to the toilet for what would be the eighth time in a couple of hours. I now can no longer feel my ass. FML

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Pain in the ass

Anonymous - 17/06/2021 22:01 - United States - Greenville

Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML

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Rememberance Day special

Crappy circumstances - 11/11/2025 12:00

Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML

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lateralligator 12

Tuesday 20 April 2021 14:10

UTI or prostate. go to the doctor

Yokohama 5

Tuesday 20 April 2021 14:18

you probably have an infection, drink lot of water and go to the doctor

peterblackmer91 12

Wednesday 21 April 2021 8:40

Um if you can't pee that's pretty serious. You need to go to the Dr immediately.

randybryant799 20

Saturday 29 January 2022 3:31

Good god. Go to the Dr. That's not freaking normal.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, when my husband asked me what the password to my new computer is, I told him it was the month and year of our marriage. He couldn't figure out the password. FML

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Today, at the gym, a guy yelled at me to stop lifting more than his son, because I was embarrassing him by being a girl and lifting more. His son must have been 15 and I almost qualified for the Olympics, but sure I’ll hold back to spare the feelings of a misogynistic 15 year-old little bitch. FML

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Today, a guy started complimenting me and calling me beautiful. Halfway through, he burst out laughing and said he couldn't do it. Who needs self confidence, anyway? FML

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Today, I know my clothing size and the clothes I buy usually fit me. Except for underwear. How come women’s panties always seem to be at least one size smaller than advertised? FML

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Today, I went to a music festival in an area where the weather is practically sunny all year round, but for this special occasion it rained the whole time, turning the venue into a giant mud pit. FML

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Today, I learned for the first time it's possible to love your children, but not to like them at all. I learned this from my own dad, who told me he will always love me, but he never really liked me much, so now that I've moved out, he doesn't see much reason for us to see each other anymore. FML

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