Intimacy Get me out of here - FML

Get me out of here

Creeped_out_n_stuck - 05/08/2011 04:46 - United States

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Revenge is sweet

Anonymous - 09/06/2015 20:52 - Ireland

Today, my housemate got back at me for asking for her share of a bill by losing her virginity to the guy I like, very loudly. FML

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Roommate from hell #457

Theguyinthedark - 30/06/2016 13:23 - Bangladesh

Today, my roommate and I were watching TV, and he ordered a pizza. After it was delivered, I took a slice. He yelled at me for taking his food and told me to stop mooching off him. I had to cover his rent last month and he still hasn't paid me back. FML

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Not helping

StillUnemployed - 11/10/2021 20:00

Today, I received a call from a potential employer. I was excited, until my roommate starts loudly moaning sexually in the background. The interviewer got offended and hung up. My roommate did it because I "made her" pay my half of the rent this month. FYI, I’m unemployed. FML

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Cost of living crisis

Jaded618 - 05/12/2010 12:48 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of eleven months broke up with me, but adamantly insisted I didn't move out of our apartment, because he can't pay the rent alone. FML

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mackamuir - 01/04/2016 13:01 - Australia - Gold Coast

Today, my roommate played a crazy April Fool's joke on me by not paying his rent this month. Good one. FML

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Awkward - 04/02/2010 16:03 - France

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, claiming moving in was a bad idea and he is the type who needs his privacy. It was his idea to move in, he had to convince me. Now we are stuck, under lease together for the next 6 months. FML

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Gross

Sticky floor - 27/07/2018 05:00

Today, my best friend and roommate has decided to "stop being controlled by society" while at home. This involves him walking around naked, masturbating whenever he wants, and not cleaning up his guys. I've stepped in it three times already. FML

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gutsforme - 11/08/2010 10:40 - New Zealand

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied "to be single" and walked out of the room. FML

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sen - 19/02/2009 21:41 - United States

Today, I was sleeping when my roommate walked in and asked me: "So… when are you leaving?" She had decided to throw a party in our apartment. I wasn't invited. FML

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Threesome weirdness

Anonymous - 08/10/2020 02:01

Today, my roommate informed me that I need to move out, due to me having sex with his boyfriend. Even though he gave us permission, and told us to use protection. FML

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gusgus36 5

Friday 5 August 2011 11:56

Well, that will be a fun 11 months...

imustbeinsane 2

Friday 5 August 2011 12:01

how much money are we talking about?

nomnom5559922 0

Saturday 6 August 2011 3:32

Flash him and shake your hips!! XD

roobear 2

Saturday 6 August 2011 3:53

FML moderators are ******* Nazis. Peace out faggots.

BennyBear 0

Saturday 6 August 2011 4:02

So do the guy a favor. it IS his birthday after all.

meintx 9

Saturday 6 August 2011 4:54

lol. sleep with the door locked and a baseball bat close by.

iMagzzzy 0

Saturday 6 August 2011 5:05

A couple jack daniels and the rest is smooth sailing!

FailureFYL 0

Saturday 6 August 2011 5:26

Bastard! He's gay

arin2009 0

Saturday 6 August 2011 5:38

mushroom stamp his face lol

XoMxcted 0

Saturday 6 August 2011 5:38

Cpme on dude, we all know your into that, dont lie you did it for free ;)

derbylovespie 0

Saturday 6 August 2011 6:09

that made my day

Fmls4life 6

Saturday 6 August 2011 6:16

Gay faggots

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML

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Today, as I was shampooing my hair in the shower, the power went out. Since my house has well water, no power means no water. FML

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Today, I found out my awesome new boyfriend loves a show called Happy Tree Friends, about cutesy animals dying horribly. When I say "loves", I mean he masturbates to it. I'm running very fast and very far away now. FML

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Today, my husband and I took our two sons (6 and 8 years-old) on a 200 ft hike down to the Torrey Pines beach in San Diego. The beach looked beautiful and the kids were excited to get there. It wasn’t until we finally got there when we found out it was a nudist beach. FML

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Today, my friend and I decided to get bikini waxes. Afterwards, the women who did the waxing told my friend it was $30 for her wax. Then, in front of the whole salon, the women points at me and says, "You! You so hairy- $35!". FML

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Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

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