Health Fresh and not Fit

Fresh and not Fit

Anonymous - 14/06/2011 01:08 - United States

Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 09/05/2009 15:50 - United States

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

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Anonymous - 02/04/2012 02:25 - United States - Binghamton

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

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What. - 14/08/2013 00:08 - United States - Pawtucket

Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML

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jobless - 16/05/2012 07:36 - United States - Groton

Today, I found out that I am allergic to grass, and not supposed to mow lawns. My job is mowing lawns. FML

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Mowed down

ThatsNotGrass - 10/08/2014 01:30 - Canada

Today, I was mowing the lawn while wearing gym shorts. Because I had no pockets, I tucked my phone into the waistband of my shorts. I didn't notice my phone had slipped until the lawnmower started making an awful sound. FML

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Health is overrated

Anonymous - 16/03/2022 12:00

Today, trying to get into shape because I run out of breath after walking more than 30 minutes, I started to hit the gym. Too bad my legs didn’t want to cooperate and decided that it would cause limping-worthy pain for every step I took on the treadmill. FML

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Jack Shart Jr. - 08/07/2015 15:16 - United States

Today, I'm so out of shape that I got winded from getting out of bed. FML

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Yesterday's news

rofld - - United States

Today, I ran over a newspaper with the lawnmower, instantly volunteering myself to pick up confetti for hours. FML

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The art, the artist

waltzy777 - 26/04/2009 08:12 - United States

Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, I had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. Right when I'd finished, I ran out of gas. My 83 year-old grandmother saw. FML

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tash - 24/05/2011 12:33 - Canada

Today, while I was mowing the lawn in my backyard, I ran over a glass bottle. My legs looked like a disco ball. FML

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kut19 6

Tuesday 14 June 2011 8:37

how fat are you?

Keffin 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 8:42

"gotta work out my muscles with my steering wheel" -pants-

richieflow 3

Sunday 8 January 2012 6:18

Hmm they must call u jugs

smileycupcake62 4

Wednesday 11 January 2012 17:22

um okay. soo does this happen when you drive a car, too?

kjtk 2

Thursday 17 May 2012 18:06

That's really sad.

superfail77 8

Sunday 17 June 2012 21:21

Fatass

diamondbaby16 4

Friday 6 July 2012 9:14

How do you do that ?!

MoMoGaston 0

Friday 17 August 2012 14:41

Wow that lawn mowers a wicked work out said no fit person ever

SweetLuna 10

Wednesday 31 October 2012 11:15

Oh wow, that's sad...

Esma_fml 10

Tuesday 6 August 2013 1:00

LOSE WEIGHT you totally like deserved that -_-

kesht1996 12

Monday 28 October 2013 3:21

Sounds like you ought to trade in that riding mower for a mower that you push

GreyDiaries 10

Sunday 8 June 2014 16:03

I'm sorry OP but that's all on you for not figuring it out sooner

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

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Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML

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Today, I wanted to donate blood for the first time ever at the The 38th Annual Rock and Roll Up Your Sleeve Blood Drive. Unfortunately, someone with my exact name & birthdate was already in the system and 30 minutes were spent trying to correct the problem. Eventually, I got frustrated and left. No good deed goes unpunished. FML

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Today, I have a permanently injured right hand. Social media star Real86Hands has no hands. Guess which one of us has better penmanship? FML

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Today, my boyfriend won't talk to me because I let a giggle slip during sex and he's convinced I was laughing at him. FML

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Today, I was having a conversation with my girlfriend about having kids. We were outside a hotel in front of those rotating glass doors. One of my friends ran at me as a joke, screaming like a caveman. I freaked out in a high pitched squeal, and tried to run inside the hotel. I ran in the wrong way. FML

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